In the Forces

When I was just a young girl
I became a little WAAF,
I wanted to join the Forces
and my heroes were the RAF.

They issued us with clothing
that created lots of mirth,
I swapped my outsize PT skirt
with a girl of greater girth!

We had to go square-bashing,
learn to march and to salute,
and every time the boys passed by,
quick march, eyes right they’d hoot.

They gave us all injections
filled us full of this and that,
The ambulance siren screamed all night
when like ninepins the boys fell flat!

That day we had a big ‘Bull Night’
lots of cleaning, spit and polish,
I had to wield the bumper
and my arms it tried to demolish.

They said the NAAFI was off limits
but we all were in need of a drink
and thoughts of ice-cold lemonade
brought us close to the mutiny brink.

A very large girl from Guernsey
volunteered to break the ban,
The door was blocked so they told her
climb through a window if you can!

She managed to wriggle halfway
before she became stuck fast,
We pulled, pushed and tugged on her
till she squeezed through at last.

We all collapsed on the floor
exhausted, tired and spent,
Hoping next morning’s inspection
would leave all pleased and content.

Soon square-bashing was over
and our ‘Passing Out Parade’ came along,
Then on to a new camp and Trade Training
as we bid new friends Goodbye and So Long.

 
22^nd August 2004