That noise up there is terrifying;

seems to me it'll be unrelenting.

I thought I was done with the midnight shift;

two in the morning, scared out of my wits.

I thought they might have been birds at first;

wishful thinking, my psyche ready to burst.

First the jumping around, then the crunching sound;

seems to me I'll soon enough be readily outbound.

Those nasty squirrels, keeping me awake;

you know I'd rather prefer an earthquake.

I hope and pray for a speedy daybreak;

just may wind up with a permanent stomachache.

I once knew a guy who had the same problem;

he used a hav-a-hart trap, became quite tiresome.

They loved that peanut butter, ten caught every week;

more neighborhood squirrels, situation very bleak.

That noise up there is terrifying;

it would be anyone's crash landing.

Less than thirty days now until move-out time;

those rodents will never stop, even on a dime.