I wish I’d been a hobo,
Never gone to school,
Made magic with my mojo,
And learned to break the rules.

Woe, woe, woe.

But I went to college
For to help my mind
Acquire some useful knowledge
To prevent me living blind.

Woe, woe, woe.

Thank the Lord for education,
The benefits it brings,
Thank the Lord for education,
And for pulling all those strings.

I wish I’d stuck to football,
Or learnt to play guitar,
Stayed back home in Liverpool,
Never listened to my ma.

Woe, woe, woe.

For what’s the use of knowing
What Structuralism means,
And if it comes from growing
Or if it’s in the genes.

Woe, woe, woe.

But thank the Lord for education,
I’ve surely had my fill,
Thank the Lord for education,
He'll surely get the bill.

It’s tough being a professor,
Having all day to think.
Gonna find me a confessor
Or better still a shrink.

Woe, woe, woe.

So ipso facto, baby,
Cogito ergo sum, mum,
Given yes then maybe,
Quod erat demonstrandum.

Woe, woe, woe.

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