My mother lives on cigarettes and alcoholic drinks,
My sister lives on frequent sex and dyes her black hair pink.
My father owns a company and throws up in the sink,
And me? I’m a fink.

Chorus:
Can you be surprised,
Can you be surprised?
When I’m up to my eyes
In family ties.

My teacher is a Structuralist who says the author’s dead,
His secretary’s a Methodist who ends up in his bed.
My father owns a company and his first name is Ted,
And me? I’m off my head.

Chorus.

My lover’s a Postfeminist, at least that’s what I’ve heard,
My brother is a Communist who tells me I’m a turd.
My father owns a company and runs an expensive bird.
And me? I’m a nerd.

Chorus.

My pet dog is a Doberman who lives on KiteKat,
My sister weighs just five stone one and screams she’s getting fat.
My father owns a company and wears a fedora hat.
And me? I’m a prat.

PLEASE VISIT MY WINGS e-PRESS PAGE HERE.

Chorus.

My fencing master’s changed the sport and duels with his brolly,
My uncle owns a minha bird who says he’s Pretty Polly.
My father owns a company and calls his girlfriends “dolly.”
And me? I’m a wally.

Chorus.

My analyst’s a Freudian who thinks that he’s the Pope.
His mother upped and hanged her man from a specially strengthened rope.
My father owns a company and likes a furtive grope.
And me? I’m a dope.

Chorus.

My gran’s got logorrhoea, so all she does is talk.
The best advice my grandad gives is where to shove her cork.
My father owns a company and eats nuts with a fork.
And me? I’m a dork.

Chorus.