Shaggy Dog Story

Some people say they’d like

to come back as a dog in their next life,

believe life might be simple.

Somebody feeds you, takes you for walks,

buys you toys, scratches your belly.

If I could come back as a dog,

I’d want to be my ex-husband’s dog.

He has two Australian shepherds

he likes better than any humans.

All I’d have to do to get his attention

is come up and wag my tail.

His dogs have special cozy beds,

get rewarded with treats

just because they look up at him

with their winsome eyes.

I’d have a soft life without political debates

or drama about who’s in control.

The Aussies never get left home alone,

are allowed bark at strangers,

receive the finest medical care,

no expense spared when it comes

to prolonging their doggy lives.

I’d be the queen of the house

without ever having to cook a meal,

do laundry, scrub toilets, or mow the lawn.

I’d get all the affectionate

pats on the head and hugs I wanted

without ever having to sleep with him.

And when I was old and frail

I’d be humanely euthanized

with my head cradled in his lap

and buried right there in my own yard

where I lived for 33 years.