Here are a few of my Royal poems, I hope you will recognise their quality, see he I am only person who could do justice to the role. Please support me by writing to the The Queen and everybody else telling them so.

ROYAL POEMS
On The Investiture of The Prince Of Wales

The firstborn of the Royal males
is destined to be Prince Of Wales
At the place appointed
He will be anointed
To the sound of tumultuous cheers
As a Welsh chior sing “Iachyd Da Jug Ears.”

On The Marriage Of Princess Anne

A posh bird got married
to an upper class twat.
So what?

A Tribute To The Queen Mother

The Dear Old Queen Mum, people say
smoked forty full strength ciggies a day
and drank gin and dubonnet
but was never known to pay … for a round.

On The Marriage Of Prince Charles

The bride wore white
on the weddiung night
and hoped her husband would thill her.
But Charles was busy elsewhere,
He was boffing Camilla.

A Poem For The Queen’s Golden Jubilee

Her rank was ordained by God,
She eats caviar not battered cod,
her gracious charm begulies,
she does not suffer from “Farmer Giles”*
nor does she burp we suppose
or get bogies stuck up her nose.
The whole nation should celebrate her
but republicans still do not rate her.

On The Birth Of Prince Harry

The new born Prince
made us all cringe
“Oh my God” we cried,
Look! a ginge.