My wisdom teeth are impacting,
I find the pain distracting,
So I'm strung out on codine,
Given by my dentist Jolene.
Dracula and bugs bunny,
Make big old teeth seem funny,
But they really do get in the way,
I wish tooth fairy'd take my spares away.
I feel like a puffa fish,
Granted is my husband's wish,
For it really hurts to talk,
I wouldn't dare let out a squawk.
Soon I get the special treatment,
Leading to my smile's completement,
Neon mouthwash and "open wide",
As a one foot needle goes inside.
"Ouch! why did you bite me?
Don't you know you can't fight me"
I leap out of the reclining chair,
And make a dash for the stairs.
My dentist chases me with a giant brush,
" You'll never have another sugar rush,
I'll get you with my spearmint paste!"
She says as I run in panicked haste.
I wake up in a cold sweat,
Even my puffy cheeks are wet,
I look at my clock feeling unamused,
In two hours I'll have my teeth removed.
I do feel alot of gratitude towards my dentist, who has been pretty patient with me over the years. I bumped into him the other day when I was out with my baby son. I said to my son, who smiles at almost everyone, that this might be his dentist some day. He gave the poor man a huge frown. It's as if he already has some sixth sense about dentists. I think they are a brave lot to carry on doing a necessary job, despite large sectors of society having a strong adversion to them.
Funny poem about non fun subject matter in the real world. I had mine out a few years back, the old slash and whack. I also appreciate my dentist, a good guy, whose children I have personaly put through college through his work on my mouth. Patrick
Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge (Reader)
Reviewed on July 29, 2007
Excellent write, makes us wonder why God gave them to us sometimes.
Many will empathise with the substance of your muse here.
I attended Edinburgh Dental Hospital regularly as a child for gum and teeth correction resulting from a cleft palate. On one occasion the dentist that I needed a tooth removed. He told me to sit still for a moment till he came back. Feering the horrible gas mask, I set about feverishly and tearfully loosening the tooth with my finger and thumb. I had managed to pull it out by the time he returned. I held it up triumphantly in my blooded finger only to receive a stern lecture of the dangers of pulling out your own teeth. Ah well, better that than the gas mask, I reasoned.
Like your wee boy, I guess I had also scripted a scowl for dentists some time earlier.
Regards
Dai
Reviewed by Butch Howard (Reader)
Reviewed on July 25, 2007
I'll never forget when I
had mine extracted.
They were also impacted....
I like the humor in this. I hope you are back comfortably chomping soon! Well done!
~Butch Howard
Been there Anna several times and my heart goes out to you. Pain is not to gain, and yes I believe your baby boy already knows and feels what he is instore for. Hope you are feeling much better.
Great commentary on dentists. My cousin is one and he's always got both hands in someone's mouth. Ugh! Tasteless job, but someone has to do it. Good write! and funny, too!!!
George
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on July 24, 2007
Yikes. The times I said No no no honest my wisdom teeth don't hurt, do they really look sore then.. LOL. I still have them, but that pain is awful whilst it lasts... Guess you're feeling a bit glum, chum.
Cheer up you know what they say...De dum...Always look on the bite side of life..
I lost 3 teeth a few weeks back..(don't play french at soccer) the only thing that hurts is the wallet extraction, have the roots removed is nothing compared to the price of new teeth. I used to take my son to the dentists after his first birthday to get him used to sitting in the chair of fun, fun, fun....
Farctured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces, Part II satirizes popular children's stories into adult-oriented renditions. FFFF &FF, Part II is also available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble e-book formats.
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I attended Edinburgh Dental Hospital regularly as a child for gum and teeth correction resulting from a cleft palate. On one occasion the dentist that I needed a tooth removed. He told me to sit still for a moment till he came back. Feering the horrible gas mask, I set about feverishly and tearfully loosening the tooth with my finger and thumb. I had managed to pull it out by the time he returned. I held it up triumphantly in my blooded finger only to receive a stern lecture of the dangers of pulling out your own teeth. Ah well, better that than the gas mask, I reasoned.
Like your wee boy, I guess I had also scripted a scowl for dentists some time earlier.
Regards
Dai
had mine extracted.
They were also impacted....
I like the humor in this. I hope you are back comfortably chomping soon! Well done!
~Butch Howard
Rose
George
Cheer up you know what they say...De dum...Always look on the bite side of life..
I lost 3 teeth a few weeks back..(don't play french at soccer) the only thing that hurts is the wallet extraction, have the roots removed is nothing compared to the price of new teeth. I used to take my son to the dentists after his first birthday to get him used to sitting in the chair of fun, fun, fun....
Be safe,
Karen
Fee