My computer has me in its throes,
accessing the Internet today
begins my woes.
Dial up, Broadband, DSL,
they are all the same,
“Pay up or we’ll cancel you!”
is the name of their game.
Starting up, my monitor
a sly grinning kinda guy,
allows me file access
and surfing by and by .
Silently he watches me,
with rising chagrin;
No folders, NO site access,
NOW I CAN”T GET BACK IN!!
I am aggravated,
as a routine has begun.
Why can’t you let me in,
like you did, I implore,
Nothing is the same, I say,
as it appeared the day before!
Monitor Slowly moving,
his black bag of tricks reveals:
"It's MY way or the highway.
Your operating system has a virus, I feel . "
I scratch my head in disbelief.
I cannot tolerate manipulation
from such a thief.
“ENOUGH of this role playing,
I yell with a hoot:
"You must compromise,
I HAVE DEADLINES!!
YOU MUST LET ME REBOOT!
I Need YOU, I Hate YOU,
was my final decree;
I’ll give you and the printer,
till one-quarter past three!"
My Canon Inkjet laughed haughtily,
an unsavory smile,
crossing his devilish face,
“You don’t get it do you?
We’re taking over THIS PLACE! “
"So you think this is WAR?",
realizing I was under attack.
" We’ll see who is the Boss of you,
I'm an ACE computer Hack!
If you both are not working ,
by one- quarter past three -
Rest assured, replacements I’ll find
you will be His-tory! "
"She’s bluffing, she’s joking, "
said the Mad Monitor aloud ,
"I know its a smokescreen, "
responded the Inkjet,
beneath his black cloud.
I walked towards my 'Puter & Monitor ,
as anger gave way to bitterness,
it raged within me;
"Have you made up your minds yet?
It's exactly one quarter past three."
They realized I was joking no more,
it was the Executioner’s Black Garb,
they noticed I wore.
My monitor grimmaced,
as he eyed my Canon up close,
Yelling :" Dont hurt me, It was all HIS idea!
His language is verbose! "
Sir Canon realized
victory was now mine to win;
He dared me to fight him -
to the Death, he’d NOT give in!
As I disabled his wires,
Mad Monitor cowered like a mouse.
Proudly he pronounced,
"You know that Canon, IS such a louse!”
You Sir , Oh Canon,
shall know who IS Boss,
without paper and printing,
you have created discourse! "
I cannot tolerate
your technological malfunction,
perhaps you will recall that,
when fed into the garbage junction."
Defiantly he eyed me proclaiming
“Oh yeah? I’m not afraid of you!
You cannot command Me.
I’m disconnected. We are through!! "
"Im glad to hear you say that,"
I said with a wink of my eye,
"You left me no choice,
THROUGH THE WINDOW YOU FLY!! "
Monitor chuckled,
"Oh Canon, Im afraid
It IS goodbye!"
"Happy trails Sir Canon!"
as I waved bye - bye.
Sir Canon lay outside
on the sidewalk in pieces, all broke.
My son hearing the calamity,
He thought it a joke!
He watched and listened ,
as Canon gurgled his last words,
"Okayyyy YOU WIN"
was all to be heard !
Daily now, I surf the ‘Net
,to my heart's content;
Soaring downloads,
My mouse moves quickly,
Without fear, no lament.
No virus, no trojans,
will ever be found ,
for my system is now STEALTH.
No pings, Not a sound !
Yes. True Story! I really did throw my Canon printer out the window !
"verbose" is a program language, like Java. =)
Copyright Donna Maris All Rights Reserved
and now it's as good as new. I miss you Donna, come on back soon.
Much love, your friend, Evelyn.
Reindeer
I chuckled all the way thru it. I too have had my computer problems with my lap top the last two days.
Thanks for being able to brighten up this day for me.
Butch
Some days... I would LOVE to throw mine out the window! Others...I could kiss it. Love the tangled emotions :)
Thanks,
Emilie
i HATE it when that happens
glad you got it fixed...and hope you had the best birthday EVER
(((HUGS))) and i adore your poem--and you
love,
karla. :)
this is mutiny and at your best.. I enjoyed this one so creative and full of humor.... Excellent
{smiles}
PJ