Old man Thorny was feeling quite horny

So he took out his trombone to play

But all he could muster was babble and bluster

Into his trenchcoat he tucked his trombone away

The ladies were jeering at old Thorny’s leering

So he left the saloon in despair

But he vowed to return to make the young ladies yearn

For his music decidedly rare

He found an old Madam who’d once serviced Adam

Who was summarily evicted from Eden

She then hired Eve says the story I believe

To host the very first brothel in Sweden

The Madam had great skill and a very strong will

She had Thorny eating right out of her hand

The tricks of her trade were on constant parade

Thorny could barely keep up with demand

She sported soft leathers and tickling feathers

And a whip for attention she’d crack

It was abundantly clear that she liked him here

To the saloon he would never go back

His obituary read that he expired in bed

Though he smiled he still was a victim

Who could have known that his sliding trombone

To the Madam would forever restrict him

There’s a moral I suppose I think every one knows

Be careful what you wish for it seems

When you go to saloons and fail to woo with your tunes

You’ll end up with the girl of your dreams

Copyright © 2012 Patrick Granfors