The Passenger in Seat 4B (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

The Passenger in Seat 4B
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "G" by the Author.

Save

I flew back to LA last week to pick up my mom and bring her back to live here in Missouri. It was a tough few days packing her up but because I had booked so late and the flight was a true red-eye, first class tickets were just $2 more than coach and at least the ride home would be easy. What could possibly go wrong? The CDC is convinced that the next global pandemic will be spread by air travelers. I believe them. If I drop dead of Ebola this week please let the CDC know the origin was the passenger in aisle seat 4B. I was in aisle seat 3E, with no where to hide.

Pulling out of gate forty nine My legs I began to stretch When my left ear caught the dreadful sound Of a passenger in full retch The flight crew soon came scurrying “Can you make this flight today?” With rolling eyes and frothing mouth He said, “I think I’ll be Okay” The crew jumped back into their seats As the aircraft engines roared While the passenger filled his 2^nd bag Into the darkness we all soared As we leveled off to cruise the night I was offered my first drink It was a double vodka tonic But it didn’t hide the stink His barf bags numbered three and four My drink count only two When the attendant offered him a hefty bag Because the small ones wouldn’t do He retched on all through the flight Bad oysters? Who’s to say? My BAC wasn’t high enough To sleep the night away When the flight was finally over As I bid the plane a curt farewell He asked me, “where’s the baggage claim?” I wanted to point him straight to hell There is a silver lining A fact beyond reproach I wasn’t sitting right next to him In the cheap seats back in coach Copyright 2014 Patrick Granfors

Reviewed by m j hollingshead

Reviewed on March 12, 2014

yet another reason I do not fly

m

Reviewed by Regis Auffray

Glad you could "see" the humor of the situation shared through your verses, Patrick. Love and peace,

Regis

Reviewed by jude forese

Reviewed on March 11, 2014

sure he didn't ask "where;s the baggage clam?"

Reviewed by Michael Schafer

A true example of when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. A well done sory that made me giggle.

Michael D.

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

As one who lived out of a suitcase for 25 years, and flew all the time, I can relate. I have yet to get on a plane since I retired - I now drive everywhere - no more stifling planes filled with bad air for me.

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila

I love how you made this truly awful experience into something that made me smile...glad you made it safe and sound, albeit more than a little annoyed...

Anna

Reviewed by John Domino

Wow! Just to think about it...Forgettaboutit....!!!Amen!

Reviewed by Morgan Merriweather

Reviewed on March 10, 2014

Super yuck! Glad you survived.

Reviewed by E Phillips

Funny and reminiscent all at once!
A delightful tale told with skill.

Reviewed by Eileen Granfors

Some guys have all the luck. . . good comedy from bad drama. I hope he didn't have ebola 'cause now we'll both have it. So glad to have you home, Mr. Patrick. Home and participating in the den again. We've missed you.

Reviewed by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com

PAT... Back in Sept '60 ... On way to Ft. Knox for Basic training my Buddy Herb Moran had his head in the Barf Bag most of the trip! And he was a 6' strapping athelete!
Who d a thunk?

Reviewed by Sandie May Joyce (Sandie Angel)

What a horrible smelly experience. Glad you've got through it okay and not sitting next to him.

Sandie

Reviewed by Budd Nelson

glad i never had that flight experience
budd

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Thank goodness I never had that experience! What about your mother? Was she with you? Let's hope he had just a fear of flying rather than some virus that will rack your guts, too. Let me know when you're dead, so that I can call the CDC.

Ron

Reviewed by Mary Ann Biddinger

~Patrick~
What a plane ride. We went to Vegas in March of 2001.
9/11 in Sept. We are grounded.

Lady Mary Ann

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton

Jeez! What a ride. Haven't been on a plane in many years. Took a flight from Nashville to New Orleans with a stop in Atlanta. Severe, SEVERE thunderstorm. I thought I was going to die that day. Caught a bus from Atlanta and made it to New Orleans, haven been on a plane since. I know it sounds silly, but I think I cheated death that day, don't want to give it another chance at me.