Driving so slow as to make a turtle pass,

Elated at the fact that last nights dinner did pass,

Happy enough to say, made it to my 80^th birthday,

Gonna get the old lady and have myself a slow lay…

Sleeping a lot less, every so often though I make a mess,

Fortunately for me, I can do my own laundry,

Walk with a cane, hair gone white or altogether, I am not so vain,

Laughing at the kids in their hot cars,

Their day will come; it’s in the stars…

No more have I got my own teeth,

Good, now no more do I get a toothache above or underneath,

I can pee once in awhile, when it does come,

Almost as good as sex used to be for some…

Takes me longer to do most everything,

Walking the neighborhood, used to be such fun,

Now I got to bring a phone, a flashlight and coat,

I may be out longer than the sun…

Walking the dog, a chore I used to relish,

Playing with him on the way home, fun then,

Now we just look at each other and moan,

Look how far it is back home; why did we so far, roam?

We all will have to get to this point, if we are lucky,

       Isn’t that just so freakin’ ducky?

                        © ed – 5/8/04