It Was the Squirrels Fault…

Really, it was the squirrel’s fault, officer,

He gave me the bottle and the joint,

Putting a lit joint in front of my face,

Is like putting in the hand of a cop a can of mace,

No, I was not being a wise guy officer, I was stating my disgrace…

Now you are going through the procedure to arrest,

Giving me my rights, I really must herein protest,

I swear to god, my hand on the bible, I do herein attest,

That it was the little squirrel, the bum; he made me do no less,

Than drink and smoke, and in general guzzle that rum, no contest…

Yes I am smashed, I cannot stand too well, hard to walk too, not trying to sell,

You on my insanity, no I am not, yes it was he and not at all me,

OH NO, you’re arresting me for WHAT?

Contributing alcohol and drugs to a minor, what minor, the squirrel?!

What other charges, contributing to the delinquency of a squirrel,

There is not crime here, and your calling the SPCA, and, oh no, not ED Kostro,

He will back up the squirrel, no you can’t, this is not fair, I did nothing,

I swear, and again I do swear, it was the squirrel’s fault,

No there was nothing sexual done to the squirrel, no assault…

This is not happening, I must be again dreaming or having a nightmare,

No I didn’t say anything about a horse, it was just the squirrel not a mare…

                             © ed – 5/22/04