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Ed Matlack

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Mr. Ed can keep all the birds he wants...
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
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Poem Artwork

 

 

 

 

No prediction for inclement weather,

Sunshine for the next four days,

Temperatures in the upper 60s,

Weather I have been of late dreaming about…

 

So off I go to do my duty & clean my Jeep,

Didn’t spend a lot, did it on the cheap,

Got the old girl all shiny and looking new,

I should have just driven it through a field,

Where lived cows, horses and sheep…

 

I went into the house to make my dinner,

Thinking that my car looked just like a winner,

But when I came out to admire it again,

Every bird in the park must have had diarrhea,

Or all of them at once had the same idea…

 

The roof, the hood and even the sides were splattered,

My dreams of a clean car for today at least were shattered,

Not one bird did I see anywhere, they must have scattered,

I’ve been out there with my BB gun, not that it mattered,

Its now dark and they went back to their nests,

Mostly I like listening to the birds, today they were just little pests…

 

 

© ed ;-) 4/17/09

 


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 Reviews of "Mr. Ed can keep all the birds he wants..."
Reviewed on April 19, 2009
JOISEY - HEY - "Into every life a little SHIT must fall..."

Grin n' BARE it - yer ARSE that is! Intelligent people allow God n' Mother Nature to WASH their cars! Remember that lil bit o' snow we had? n' all the SALT spray from the roads?
I never even bothered to remove it - WASTED ENERGY N' LABOR - that's why RAIN comes down!

SO - now, the big, bad, brave HUNTER is gonna brandish a BB gun n' MURDER innocent lil birds? FIE !!!

You SHIT on yer lil THRONE, it goes down the hole, through the pipes, into the sewer line, and washes out into THEIR drinking fountains, the streams, rivers, ocean, whatever - and THEY don't BITCH N' MOAN - they don't get mad, they just GET EVEN!

ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER!
Go wash yer lil JEEP again - n' they'll SHIT again -
I HOPE!

PEEWEE tells me that he contacted a local farmer - he now has a SQUADRON OF PIGS revvin' up to give yew a lil FLY-BY !!!

When they get done, ewe'll WELCOME a lil seagull SHIT !!!

Have a nice MUSHY DAY!

Yer ole fart, sore-eyed, windy, long wordy FIEND - Tom, El Gato !!!

P.S. - thanks fer da BIG BOLD LETTERS!

Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot
Reviewed on April 18, 2009
We are lucky that way here, birds don't think our Vehicles are worth Cacking on ;)
Wash it off and quick mate, or the Guano will ruin the DuCo LOL...
What a pity Emu's don't fly!!
ANON

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on April 18, 2009
My pigeon squadron is getting bored, so a few hundred of them will be visiting you soon - Look Up!

Reviewed on April 17, 2009
I got some juicy keel-tailed grackles to go with your gulls. LOL Want some?? LOLOLOL

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D

Reviewed by Georg Mateos
Reviewed on April 17, 2009
Lil'brother, PeeWee sent those hooligan birds first to shit on my car and now on yours? That's a conspiracy, a Felony that should be penalize with a 25 to life, and make him the Bird-man of Alcatraz (shut! that one is closed for business) Sing Sing?
I telling Ma.

Edvard(k) the Compassionate Elder


Reviewed by Felix Perry
Reviewed on April 17, 2009
Well could have been worst could have been like my old jeep...no doors or roof lol

Fee

Reviewed on April 17, 2009
Hi Mr. Ed, Doesn't that just piss you off when that happens? It's like they know it, too! Are they the birds that are laughing on the other side of the window? (it's a commercial about windex..)

In Spirit,
Bear

Reviewed by Linda Hill
Reviewed on April 17, 2009
Ed,
So sorrrrrry about your Jeep! I too, love the birds but sometimes....yes, they can be a pest!

Many blessings,
~Linda

Reviewed on April 17, 2009
A shitty day despite the good weather? but you know what it's cheap fertilizer for the garden, just scrape it off, it's good for Cannabis sativa, that, and rotten fish, now if they were Seagulls you already gots the fish and shit mixed.
Blessings Devil from Heaven! Jasmin Horst


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