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Peter Paton

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Member Since: May, 2004

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Eye Candy
by Peter Paton → (All Poetry by Peter Paton)
   Rated "R" by the Author.
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A satirical poke in the eye for men ! Jerry Haste Ye Back !

...........................................................................................

 

I've got to admit,

most men's brains are in their trousers

when they see a chick,

its sex that's on their minds

and you will do alright

if you remember,

they are only after one thing

you might say

that there is nothing wrong with that

there's no harm in looking,

as long as you don't dare touch

they carve and notch

their conquests on their bedposts

the dirty mag at night,

gives them such thrills and delight

porn and sport you'll suffer and endure,

night after night,

it's always the same

oh yeh,

they love to flex their muscles and brag

and guzzle them shots down

from that whiskey jar

they spend half their life 

languishing and fishing

obsessed they are

with football and baseball

their wife and girlfriend,

are their arm jewellery for the night

egotistical and arrogant,

 they don't give a damn

and expect their wives

to satisfy all their demands

they order the dinner

to be ready in a trifle

don't trouble me junior,

I'm reading my newspaper

and don't bother asking

 if I can walk the dog,

for I'm watching the soccer

and this game is life and death

I can't be bothered

to mow the lawn

for big Duke's coming round

to fix the car

too bad you thought once

he was special and unique

until you heard him

snoring all night

and his toes have dissapeared forever

under the paunch of his beer belly

he's no longer the man

you once knew before

quick to criticize

and always on your back

pray me to God

get rid of this swine

he's skint and broke,

and can't hold down a job

but he knows you always have

plenty bucks in your purse

he'll wine and dine you,

just to get you in bed

and when morning comes,

you won't see his tail or hide

they'll trick you and cheat you,

abuse and mistreat you

and leave you holding the baby

and then you'll remember

Mom's parting words

listen to me daughter

"All men are bastards "

 

Copyright by Peter Paton 2006

 
  

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 Reviews of "Eye Candy"
Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on March 1, 2006
thankfully, my daughter has the sense not to be lured to such a man ... great satire ...

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on March 1, 2006
Thanks for this insightful piece Peter...and lols on your comment!!

I would love to have that bowl of jelly beans right now...geeez have to go buy me some NOW!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed on March 1, 2006
Peter,

Thanks large for this eye-opening peek into the male world! Very well done; bravo!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D

Reviewed on February 28, 2006
Peter,

Good grief!!!!!!! What an eye-opening piece of candy you've gifted the Den with. Powerfully written with a hard hitting message! Well done!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. *applause*

Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater
Reviewed on February 28, 2006
You hung out your shingle for the day, Peter. I walked into my therapy appoinment with you, you had a jar of my favorite lavender jelly beans. I reclined on your couch, paid you good money for my hour and you recited Eye Candy to me and all I did was eat jelly beans for an hour and told you this. "Yes, this is why I am a switch hitter. Rethinking my sexual preference is posted in my den, Sharing the Nest With Another Hen. I'll have your jelly beans in a jar by the nest, Doc!" I love mind therapy! Humor me, Peter!

Sage

Reviewed by Susan de Vegter
Reviewed on February 28, 2006
Yes!!! Passion and lust...There is a gret difference. Lust knows no name and then passion always remembers.

You surely said it like it is Peter.

Great job!
Susan

Reviewed on February 28, 2006
Well, thank God for the exceptions!(there are some, right???) A very, very good write!!! :)
Birgit and Roger

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on February 28, 2006
I should of listened to my mother LOL. Great write :-)

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on February 28, 2006
oh my! This will bring Jerry back for sure with all guns blazing!;-)
Don't expect the women to be as forthcoming, Peter!;-) You are a brave man! I enjoyed the humor(or is it) hahaha ;-)

eT

Reviewed by George Carroll
Reviewed on February 28, 2006
I didn't know you knew me so well LOL


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