As Dolly Parton says,
"It costs a lot to look this cheap"
I mean, when I walk out that door
I wanna see grown men weep
and women stop in their tracks
to give a giant hate glare at me
But Baby what you get
is definitely not what you see

You see all this curly red hair
just flowing down my back?
Well it sits on the dresser at night
and Darlin, that's an indisputable fact
See this tiny waist and these firm hips?
Just before I leave home I say a prayer
that the livin girdle don't slip

And these big bouncy booby toys...
why they can be bought if you're rich
to catch the attention of all the boys
and have the women call you a bitch
Yes I'm very proud of my pearly whites
I soak em good in Polident Plus
in a pint Mason jar overnight

I shaved off all the nasty hair
from my legs and underarms
and plucked it outa my chin
to show off my feminine charms
These fingernails look impressive
so fashionable, long and red
Oops I think I lost a couple
somewhere in the bed

I got perfume to cover up
everything that's a little gamey
and if the Listerine stops working
at least I tried so don't you blame me
I took my thick glasses off
so I can hardly even see
and even with all my many faults
Wildthing still don't look as good as me

So bring it on Wildthing
I'm ready for a hot and heavy date
but don't keep me out after ten
cause by then it's gonna be too late
to take my Metamucil tonight
and watch the reruns of "Sex And The City"
Then WWF Raw comes on later
and to miss that would be a real pity~



�5-23-2005 La Belle Rouge

Music "Wild Thing"