Christmas Ballad of the Brothers Ed
By Kathy Armijo

In the year 1261
The Brothers Ed were led
To believe they were elves

Being taken in by Mrs. Claus
Who dressed them in green suits
Gave ‘em lots of milk and Christmas cookies

They thought they were in heaven
No.  It was the North Pole
It was colder there than a snowball in, well …

In an attempt to liven up one day
The Brother’s Ed played reindeer games
And got Rudolph rolling in the hay

No one can remember her name
Fun he had all the same
What was her name?

The boys had one too many fling
And they didn’t even know how to sing
Or work for their supper

Mr. Claus became inflamed
At these bogus little elves
Who he kept scratching off his list

Finally, he’d had enough
He thought about dropping them down
Mr. Scrooges’ chimney

But Scrooge had been enlightened
What could he do with them?
Off with their heads!

Jolly old Santa just couldn’t do it
So, on Christmas Eve he dropped them
Off on the Mexican/Texas border

The Brother’s Ed heard something about
Needing a green something or other
To stay in Texas

To their dismay,
Their green elf suits
Didn’t help them stay

So, it’s off to Margaretville
Hoping to find a saucy senorita
And ring her bell

The ballad’s almost done
Mrs. Claus got rid of Santa
She hooked up the Brother’s Ed
But that’s a whole other ballad

Ho, ho, ho
And a very merry night it will be
For Mrs. Claus and the brothers, three