It's sometimes very sobering to realize how much one "needs" someone else...
Drowning
I dreamed she’d let go of me and left behind I felt I’d fallen into this river of abandonment neglect and rejection where the current was powerful my spirit was beaten and battered against boulders of hurt and pain and I was carried along helplessly tossed towards the sea of sorrow where I surely would have drowned unless she saved me with a word or two of friendship promised oh I trusted that she would be faithful because I could not swim and without her I didn’t care to bother trying then she held out her hand and I’m still here
An emotional poem here that surely connects with the readers. I am not sure about why you chose to place certain words at the end of the line rather than start a new line with them. For example, why do you end the fourth line with the word "where" instead of starting the next line with that word? Wondering the same with the phrase "my spirit" and there a few others. Any particular reason. I wouldn't change the content of this piece but I'd reformat it...that is move some words at the end of lines to beginning of the next line...
WOW...OUR LIVES ARE SO PRECIOUS...TO TRUST THE PEACE OF IT TO ANYONE OR ANYTHING BUT GOD, IS NOT A WISE THING AND USUALLY REGRETTED...I KNOW, BECAUSE...I'VE BEEN THERE. GLAD THIS WAS SOME YEARS AGO. A TERRIFIC WORK OF DEEP, WRENCHING EMOTIONAL TORMENT. THANKS FOR SHARING AND BLESSINGS. LOVE, JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Good Morning Regis,
I Loved Your Poetic Express Of Need.
There Is No More Prevalent Love In The World Than Giving Of Ourself To Another. It is the foundation of strength to acknowledge our need & also to ask for our need and give of ourself. No matter to a friend or someone we have never met.
I give eye contact to everyone I see & I say hello and treat strangers as if I know them. It is important to me to do this because I don't know if they feel like ending their life & perhaps I can make a difference by acknowledging them in myself. We never know what impact we have on others & Know this Regis, I Love You Dearly My Friend!
I Embrace You Always With My Heart & Outstretching Of My Soul Through The Hands Of Time
Love & Hugs
Embraced ~ Embrassé
Vickie
Thank goodness we have people to save us in those needed times. Because people need people especially when rejection comes in to play by others which can be very devastating. Wonderful, emotional write.
Reviewed by chris stienstra (Reader)
Reviewed on September 10, 2007
Reg,
I was rushed along in the waters current. Your words pulled me under a few times and I had to catch my breath. I appreciate your mastery...
Best wishes and be safe,
Chris
Reviewed by Butch Howard (Reader)
Reviewed on November 12, 2006
Regis, I can so well relate to this write. That outstretched hand of friendship and hole can make all the difference! I enjoyed this very much! ~Butch
This so beautiful, and I agree too that this IS priceless and a gem keeper. I only wish someone would hold their hand out to me so I stop sinking. Thanks for sharing Regis.
May the Lord Jesus bless you, and those whom you love, and be with you always, and at your side constantly. With much love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your little sister, Barbie
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Wonderful prose and very special and symbolic meanings here. I've always believed that we cannot exist wholely without a significant partner (whether spouse, loved one, soulmate, etc.). We need to trust, love, compliment, help, and "hold hands." Thanks for sharing. My best, Gloria
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on September 24, 2006
Plaintive tale of deep sorrow and seeking a lifeline to be through from the one responsible for his perdiment, annd at last, the prayer was answered. This is a very good "meaningful" dream you have here.
It's amazing, dear Regis, what the right words, and an extended and loving hand can do for another. we are so inter-connected and dependant on one another, is so many unfathomable ways.
You have captured a bitter/sweet poignacy in this evocative (for me) write. I am sure that most have been in this uncomfortable place before in their lives at least once.
True friendship is a rare and precious thing. If one wants a true friend, one should "be" a true friend. Blessed are those that have such! Well done, Regis!
Reviewed by Jane Rodway (Reader)
Reviewed on September 24, 2006
This shows a sadness, and it is true, there are those we know in our hearts that life would not be right without-it is hard, that abandonment feeling, something I have fought for years (thanks, Dad, lol), but I now turn to my faith when I feel the waters rising and try hard to stay afloat-writing-wise, this was a good form, felt like a rolling sea of words and gave a real effect of drowning in need. Love & Peace, Michelle
This is a beautiful characterization of love. What man has ever loved a women who did not feel like he was drowning from it. Ill spoken words, disagreements and sometimes plain anger. The funny thing is that it all is caused by love. The same love the causes both to embrace one another and utter, "I'm sorry." I felt all this as I read. Great piece.
God Bless,
LEw
How is it, too, that we would risk the drowning if it meant the reassurance of being rescued by that one significant gesture of the hand and heart as well... forget anyone else's lifeline!! :)) You pull us into this one like a riptide, Regis and we are just soooooooooo glad that you are still afloat! Hopefully, like driftwood, you might just go with the flow and end up on the shores of that desert island built for two.... Love on the line here... and reeled in beautifully. A make-or-break write. Love the sustained metaphor. Bless you, Kate xx
Being a former Lifeguard, I should get on you about
all the rules of swimming you broke, but then. . . . . .
You weren't in water at all.
Excellent poem Reg
DWB
I'm sure glad it was only a dream, Regis...though dreams can sometimes feel so real. A kind word spoke with love will turn the tide for a "drowning" soul. A meaningful poem...!
Teaches us never to second guess ones intentions. Very solar (enlightening) Bro. Regis.
blessin's
cynth'ya
Reviewed by Miss Pandora (Reader)
Reviewed on September 22, 2006
Regis, I think you may speak for many with this stunning write. You have expressed the torment of losing control of feelings so powerfully well - lovely to read a happy ending here. Love Panda :)
A gripping poem ! Many of us get lost in the river of life while trying to survive. We reach out needing the safety net which only that one special person can give. Love can be filled with pain and rapture. Hang on tight, but tread water carefully.......M
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on September 21, 2006
Indeed we do. That's why we lost a rib. A house, car, son, bank balance,lol But when we do find that one.Hold on tight to her hand....
this is a very sad work...it is difficult to follow with no punctuation, all the words running together...
yet it makes me "feel" as though i am struggling to breathe, like i am drowning!!!
Superb metaphor in this gripping poem. I think you touch us all since most of us have felt the drowning sensation at one time or another. Thank God for the saving hand, because some never receive it, and that's the real misery...Excellent work Reg! You have lots of friends, hope you never have to feel alone!
Peotry can be highly personal or reach the masses individually, each having found a part of themselves in the poet's own words. I think you reach out to everyone who has ever suffered a confusing loss of love.
"and left behind I felt I’d fallen
into this river of abandonment
neglect and rejection where
the current was powerful my spirit
was beaten..."
How perfectly you've captured the emotion and the quest for unanswered questions until she reaches out in friendshp and the potential of hope returns to renew.
I even enjoyed reading this outloud and listening, Reg...
xo Taylor~
I don't think I've ever read a bad "Auf le Prof" poem Reg, but I'm staggered by the sorrow and pain just pours from this piece. Just when I think I've read your best, you raise the bar for all of us here at AD to aspire to...Amazing work. I normally don't like lack of punctuation in any piece as it usually makes it hard for the reader to follow, but because the emotion floods through this, it seems a very fitting way to present the piece. Wonderful. Love, Michelle
This took us full circle... the hopelessness and despair to one of great hope and joy! You are still here, and everyone needs a helping hand every now and again. I loved it - thank you for sharing!
I love this happy ending, Regis! May all your dreams and realities end happily!
Susan
Reviewed by Victor Buhagiar (Reader)
Reviewed on September 21, 2006
This must have been a nightmare albeit it has a positive ending. A helping hand is always needed and I do expect such from my wife as much as she expects me to give her mine. It would be horrible if we did not go through life hand in hand. Lovely drea poem, Regis. Victor
In good times or bad, I think a hand held out to us is reassuring; whether it be that of a friend, family, or of God. Great expressions of love, lonliness and life. Good work with words, Regis.
Christ finally pulled me out of an enduring river of misery, failure and aimless drifting. Other entities had tried some valiantly but i just fell back in.
You're on dry land, it is on land we are faced with different challenges. May your friend be eve present with her outstretched hand to help you. Thanks for sharing your experience. Apt metaphor
I'm sure glad she held out her hand, Reg! We don't want to lose you.
Very interesting poem - I especially enjoy the lines,
"... I was beaten and battered against
boulders of hurt and pain ..."
Excellent lines, Reg!
Many hugs,
CJ
I know this sinking/drowning feeling all too well, it is a great risk that we take when we leave a relationship hoping someone will toss us that lifeline or a hand to put us back on stable ground again. Great comparison my friend.
And praise God for it, Reg.. you are NEVER alone, Brother!
This is an excellent depiction, of the angst of a soul, in need of another, and further proof, that we were not created to be alone...[Ephesians 2:19] Outstanding write, Regis!
The corncob bobber keeps us afloat when a friend throws out the liter and reels us in to the grassy banks of friendship where the faery's feed us inspiration and color the poisonous mushrooms with flaming reds and blues with white spots so we know which friends are poison and which friends are trusted...Sage is a trusted friend to Regis and Regis has held his hand out to me many times...thank you, Reg...
This is powerful writing; one feels the terror and uncertainty of life, and then the wonderful ending. She threw you a life preserver, and here you are! Good thing, too.
A book-length psychodynamic study of pathological narcissism, relationships
with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder, using a new vocabulary.
A book-length psychodynamic study of pathological narcissism, relationships
with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder, using a new vocabulary.
So sad ,but very well written as usual.
Nicole
Sheila
I Loved Your Poetic Express Of Need.
There Is No More Prevalent Love In The World Than Giving Of Ourself To Another. It is the foundation of strength to acknowledge our need & also to ask for our need and give of ourself. No matter to a friend or someone we have never met.
I give eye contact to everyone I see & I say hello and treat strangers as if I know them. It is important to me to do this because I don't know if they feel like ending their life & perhaps I can make a difference by acknowledging them in myself. We never know what impact we have on others & Know this Regis, I Love You Dearly My Friend!
I Embrace You Always With My Heart & Outstretching Of My Soul Through The Hands Of Time
Love & Hugs
Embraced ~ Embrassé
Vickie
I was rushed along in the waters current. Your words pulled me under a few times and I had to catch my breath. I appreciate your mastery...
Best wishes and be safe,
Chris
Aberjhani
Well done.
May the Lord Jesus bless you, and those whom you love, and be with you always, and at your side constantly. With much love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your little sister, Barbie
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
As William say's this is priceless.
You have amazing talent!
~Linda
this piece is priceless
A gem a keeper
thanks for shring
Peace
William
Love and Peace,
B&R
I am honored to stop by and read this; what a beautiful write! Very well done; bravo!
(((HUGS))) and much love, ton ami, Karen Lynn. :D
good write
john+
You have captured a bitter/sweet poignacy in this evocative (for me) write. I am sure that most have been in this uncomfortable place before in their lives at least once.
Thankyou for sharing this "real" write ...
Benisons
Richard Lloyd Cederberg
God Bless,
LEw
Gina
Reindeer
all the rules of swimming you broke, but then. . . . . .
You weren't in water at all.
Excellent poem Reg
DWB
Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)
God bless
Lena
blessin's
cynth'ya
Peace. Joyce
Joselyn
Peace,
Carolyn
You trusted that she would be faithful;
That's the core of the dream from my view.
And hurray for her! She came through for you.
Great, unique poem!
Connie
yet it makes me "feel" as though i am struggling to breathe, like i am drowning!!!
ann
With Affection
Eileen
"and left behind I felt I’d fallen
into this river of abandonment
neglect and rejection where
the current was powerful my spirit
was beaten..."
How perfectly you've captured the emotion and the quest for unanswered questions until she reaches out in friendshp and the potential of hope returns to renew.
I even enjoyed reading this outloud and listening, Reg...
xo Taylor~
Myrna
All Your Just Rewards Are Not In Or Of This Physical World...
TRASK
RM Green
Glad to hear that, Regis!
Susan
You may not be a good swimmer but you are a surviver my friend!!
Love TinkaSweets
Micke
You're on dry land, it is on land we are faced with different challenges. May your friend be eve present with her outstretched hand to help you. Thanks for sharing your experience. Apt metaphor
thank goodness.......pax A
Very interesting poem - I especially enjoy the lines,
"... I was beaten and battered against
boulders of hurt and pain ..."
Excellent lines, Reg!
Many hugs,
CJ
Fee
This is an excellent depiction, of the angst of a soul, in need of another, and further proof, that we were not created to be alone...[Ephesians 2:19] Outstanding write, Regis!
Love, Rhonda
Sage
This is powerful writing; one feels the terror and uncertainty of life, and then the wonderful ending. She threw you a life preserver, and here you are! Good thing, too.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
I am glad that you are still floating..
Steve's advice is sound to me as well..
Peter