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Blogs by Edeltraud F. Fellendorf
SNAPPED 1/2/2010 5:06:35 AM
By Cindy Rodriguez, Commander, U.S. Navy (ret.)
I have fond memories of my German grandmother. She was a great cook. She would always let me play with my grandfather's box of old tools (screw drivers, hammer, metal files, etc.) and hide candy for me to find. She also saved a few Deutch Marks for me in a little piggy bank called Mecki (a German hedgehog cartoon character). I always felt rich after visiting with grandma. I still have Mecki; won't throw him away even though he's lost his hair.
I really don't remember my grandmother as an unkind woman. I do know that I feared being alone with her after a little incident we had. Mom and I were visiting with her. Mom left me to do some shopping. I was about four or five years old at the time, and I had a sore on my tongue. I knew German, but I didn't know the word for my problem so when my tongue started hurting, I stuck it out and pointed to the problem area hoping my grandmother could help. Instead, she smacked me hard across the face, threw me in bed and shut the door. I was terrified and still crying when my Mom got home. Every time I was alone with her after that I was scared stiff. As an adult, I know this was just a misunderstanding; she thought I was being fresh and sticking my tongue out at her.
My Mom, on the other hand, had a very volatile relationship with her. The stories of mental and physical abuse she endured since early childhood are horrible to hear. Just yesterday Mom was crying as she relived another moment writing her book. She asked me why I thought her mother was so cruel to her. I had no answer. She always asks me this question. I never have an answer.
The moment she relived occurred in 1950. She and her mother were having another heated argument. It happened in the stairwell of her mother's apartment. Grandma lived on the third floor. Mom was pregnant with my big brother, her first child, at the time and her mother pushed her hard. Mom fell backwards down the stairs, but caught herself on the banister.
When Mom recovered, she snapped. Never before this moment had she stood up for herself, but this was her breaking point and she attacked her mother with a vengeance. Her fists sent her mother's glasses flying. Neighbors had to pull Mom off her mother. Mom said she was so out of it that she was frothing at the mouth. Her mother's face was bloody. That was the last time her mother abused her physically.
