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Blogs by Michelle Close Mills
Castles in the Sky: October 19, 2012 10/19/2012 6:45:04 AM
Big Green Helicopters
Last night I was watching one of my favorite TV shows, HGTV’s House Hunters. I love to see the staged interiors, imagine some of stuff in my own home and hear what the prospective home buyers have to say about the various properties.
Suddenly my two cats barreled in from the screened porch chasing something gigantic that flew around the room like a helicopter. It finally landed on a wing back chair.
Those who know me would be surprised by the shock that followed. I live in Florida where school bus sized bugs are the norm. However this thing was as huge as the International Space Station. Not only was it the biggest grasshopper on the planet, it was in my living room on my FURNITURE.
Once they got a good look at what they were chasing, my typically fearless Maggie tore upstairs. Simon hissed and backed up about five feet.
I snuck past the chair to the pantry and picked up the broom. Tiptoeing toward the intruder, I whaled at him with my weapon.
Little did I know that guys this big are like the Rocky Balboa of creepy bugs. He was likely more annoyed than hurt. He slid into the safety of the adjacent cushioning.
I knew the monster would eventually show his face again. Simon never took his eyes off of the chair. He could probably hear the hideous thing fidgeting.
Eventually it emerged. Simon flew up the stairs.
It was just me and the bug.
Before the grasshopper took flight again, I whacked at him several more times. He just wouldn’t give up the ghost. I doubt I even bruised him.
After several more attempts I managed to complete the job and dispose of the body.
Shaking, I mounted the steps to see my fuzzy security team anxiously peering down at me from the top step.
Disgusted, I stomped past them and went to bed early. My dreams were filled with big green helicopters zooming around my head.
Hopefully the grasshopper’s mother wasn’t prolific when she reproduced.
However if anyone has an encounter with one of his brothers and sisters, I’d suggest using a snow shovel instead of a broom.
