Transfering old blog entries from a blog I'm deleting on another site. Looking Beyond - 6/19/2004 6:27:15 PM
Beyond All The Hate
I'm looking beyond all the hate tonight because if I don't it will crush my spirit. I'm retreating to a place within where peace can be found and relaxed in. The world has gone insane, we are no less barbaric than in the age of Atilla the Hun, no more evolved or civilized. God help the person who has not learned how to retreat to the beauty and peace within and find a refuge there. Do I hate injustice, yes I do but calling for more and more bloodshed, what is that going to yield, except more bloodshed? You can't even be on a poetry board, writing your poetry, minding your own business, without someone attacking and disrespecting you. Life is too short to spend it hating and hurting anyone.
Abuse - 6/9/2004 5:03:04 AM
Is It Worth It?
Some people suffer physical abuse; their bodies bruised and spirits wounded. Some people allow the abuse to continue until they must flee for their lives or their lives are ended by the abuser. Most people will not tolerate someone hitting them, kicking them, forever. Eventually they have had enough and find the courage make an escape but what about those who endure emotional and verbal abuse? Many don’t even recognize such abuse as being abuse. The name calling, the impossible demands, the long seasons of enforced silence and angry glares, the control and manipulation are accepted because verbal and emotional abuse leaves invisible bruises and scars on the soul, unlike the very visible ones left on a body from a fist. People who are abused this way lose their self esteem just as with, or maybe more so, than with physical abuse. The problem is that this kind of abuse is too often tolerated and not seen for what it truly is. Half the battle is won when a person realizes they are, in fact, being abused. Then the fear of what will happen if they end the relationship or demand respect is the next obstacle to overcome. By this time the self esteem has been reduced to almost none and there are very real concerns about not being able to survive apart from the one who has convinced you that you are too stupid to make it on your own. It would be better to live under a bridge and eat garbage than to continue in a verbally or emotionally abusive environment. There are three ways to handle it, you can leave or you can demand respect and then if the respect is not forthcoming, you can leave. Or you can continue to endure it and in the future awaken to the fact that you have been robbed or your identity and very life. Is it worth it?
Sexual Idiots - 6/25/2004 11:54:37 AM
They Have Sick Minds
There are many true gentlemen who enjoy my work and write very respectful comments to me but what is it with men who think because a woman writes erotica, she is fair game to be emotionally and verbally raped? I wonder if actresses like…Nichole Kidman…for instance are treated the same way because they do nude scenes in movies. To me those nude scenes are so much more erotic, more personal, than words written on a page. And what on God’s earth makes men feel that a writer is an egotistical bitch when she responds to their very obnoxious sexual advances in a distant way or ignores them altogether. If they said some of the things to a woman on the street that they email to female poets, they would be arrested on the spot!! I’m a writer, I write poetry and short stories, some of them are very sensual or erotic but that doesn’t mean I want a roll in the hay with any man that desires it. I write horror stories as well, but I certainly am not a blood-sucking vampire. Sometimes it makes it so difficult to keep writing romance and erotica, when I know it is being read by those who think they can abuse the privilege of email and treat me like a common prostitute, asking for sexual games and pictures. I am a poet not a prostitute. Did the great masters of art who painted nudes have women following them around demanding sexual favors? Sometimes I want to write my poetry and short stories in private and keep them private because of jerks who don’t understand art or know how to properly handle their sexuality. I don’ t play sexual games or hand out nude photos, if that makes me a egotistical bitch then BOW WOW!
About Love - 6/16/2004 5:31:41 AM
Requited And Otherwise
Love is the most potent force in the universe, stronger than hate or fear. I have come to the conclusion that love is never wrong, even if it is directed toward someone who is unworthy of it or does not requite it. Love makes the universe a better place, whenever and wherever it exists. Only a person of maturity and deep spirituality can give love without expecting to receive anything in return. I think if you love someone, you should tell them, otherwise the beauty and value of love is diminished by secrecy and silence. Some people can be difficult to love but it's always better to make a friend than an enemy whenever possible. Of course, some people choose to be our ememy and even our best efforts at peace are sometimes futile. I honestly don't hate a single person, there are some I have no confidence in or respect for, there is one in particular that it would be easy to despise but I decided a long time ago I'd not allow someone else's hate and betrayal to cause me to hate. Love is the light that overcomes darkness. The world is dark enough without adding to the shadows or walking in them.
On Friendship - 6/23/2004 5:17:44 AM
What Does It Really Mean?
I believe there are many levels of friendship, from pleasant acquaintance to the depths of lives and souls shared. There are certain limitations in all relationships, lines that need not to be crossed. First of all, friendship requires honesty on the part of both parties, anything less can only maintain a superficial relationship that will never stand the test of time or adversity. Secondly there must be mutual respect and admiration. Each person’s uniqueness and their autonomy must be cherished. True friends uphold each other and do not endeavor to impose their will or thoughts on each other or demand changes in order to give love and respect . I have had few friends that were close enough to be one in soul with, but when it happens it is the most precious and nourishing experience in life. A “Friendship” that is a burden, rather than a joy is not a true friendship. Real love uplifts, never casts down, it believes the best, lends support in times of trouble or weakness, encourages greatness, and when it doesn‘t understand…it trusts.
Good Day - 6/21/2004 10:23:22 AM
I Feel Good
I feel really good today. It's a gorgeous day here, cool, sunny, flowers in bloom, soft sea breeze blowing. It's the kind of day that makes you thankful to be alive. I found that place of peace, that center, today and all the weight I've been carrying seemed to melt away. I love it when that happens, one moment you're stressed, distressed, and the next you touch that center of who you really are and peace and life reign once again. I find speaking your mind frankly also helps to arrive at that junction where inner conflict ends. I lived many years swollowing my thoughts, never expressing anger, or controversial views. Looking back on it I wonder how I avoided exploding with the unexpressed turmoil inside. If you don't want to hear my opinion or deal with my feelings, please just keep your distance from me because never again will my soul be held prisoner within me. I plan to express myself and dwell as closely as possible to that centered place of peace.
5/18/04
Life Is A Series Of Discoveries
Life is a learning experience, one that is never completed. There are no diplomas or degrees in the school of life. There are only levels of purpose and understanding. No person ever fully finds their "Self" because the search is a series of "Findings" that continue until the end and then begin again! Finding, acknowledging, the dark places within us, is the beginning of wisdom. Until the darkness is recognized and owned we will continue to react to situations in life under the control of the darkness within that moves us toward anger, bitterness, sorrow and fear. The abused child who had no control, must begin to realize that the helplessness he felt will foster a hard and calloused spirit that must at all costs, remain in control. Those hurt in love will never love again until willing to face and defeat the fear of a broken heart. Those forced to endure hardships and trauma such as violence and war must come to grips with the feeling within them that might and violence are necessary to defeat those they preceive as ememies. Recognition of these darker quailites leads to a new journey of self-discovery that has the power to flood the soul with life and light, gifting the ability to touch others with that light. It's difficult and we feel shamed to admit we have a negative quality but it is the only path to embracing more positive ones.
5/18/04
All My Life I've Been A Rebel
Rebellion has been a way of life with me, don't let the kind and loving exterior fool you. Beneath it is the heart of a lionness not afraid to use her pointed teeth to grab injustice and stupidity by the throat. I have hated injustice all my life. The compartmentalizing of people into tiny boxes of prejudice tied shut with cords of bigoted stupidity. I have decided to put fear aside and let my voice be heard whenever and wherever I encounter bigotry and proud arrogance. Wherever I see people hated and stereotyped because of their nationality, race or creed.. and yes because of their sex also. If men assert their strength and authority they are applauded, if a woman does the same thing she is labeled a "Bitch" and women laugh at that. If being forthright, strong and in control of my life makes me a Bitch then those who think it must be incredibly ignorant. I would rather be a bitch than a puppet. If a man writes of his sexuality, he is virile but let a woman do the same and she is labeled a nympho-maniac or a whore. I have decided that wherever I see those who should be free to be themselves, in a prison of slavery and locked in by their own fear, to let them know they have a choice, die in slavery or make an escape to freedom. Fear is the worst ememy we will ever encounter in this life. It robs us of joy and peace and even of our freedom to be who we truly are. Many of us speak of liberty in our nation and we are locked in a personal cell of miserable slavery, cuffed by fear. Hate the dispicable, brutal deeds of oppressors and remember not all of them are found on foreign shores and labeled "Enemies." Hate is never overthrown with hate, but with being smarter, truer, braver than those who hate or use us.
Rebels Unite
We Could Change The World
If The REBEL in me
Can Touch The REBEL in you
We can only imagine
What that union might do
We could see the world changing
In a in just a matter of time
Hands and hearts together,
Yours and mine
If the LOVE in my heart
Could hold the LOVE in yours
We could see greatness freed
From indifferance's shore
If the REBELS in us
Will settle for nothing less
We can see a day of peace
When all the Earth is blessed
(c) 5-15-2004 La Belle Rouge
5/18/04
Each New Dawn Brings A Choice
With each dawn we are given the priceless gift of a new day, and new choices. We can choose to embrace light, love and joy or we can choose to give in to darkness, hate, fear, sorrow and things that destroy our lives. We are builders of our lives, one brick (one day) at a time. Not only are we building our own house, we are influencing the construction of others' buildings for we have to power too edify or destroy our lives and others. Every thing we write has the power to promote peace and healing, or hate and destruction. The choice is ours and the results are sure. Words are as alive as the people who pen them and much more far-reaching than the writer's personal presence will ever be. We have a choice to make each day, darkness or light, love or hate and the choice we make comes out of our soul, then enters back into it where it bears either sweet or bitter fruit in our lives. Free choice is a precious and powerful gift, beware how you use it.
5/18/04
Power To The People - 5/17/2004 3:18:49 AM
Personal Power And How It Works
Each of us is born with personal power and an inate sense of how to live in it. In normal situations a person should progress from the infant stage, where we have little recognition or ability to exercise personal power, to ever widening, maturing stages of life where our power is understood, appreciated and walked in. Unfortunately, environment often intervenes in the form of disabilities, illness, abuse or neglect by others and this knowledge and ability are lost to us. It is possible, if we finally recognize our power has been displaced, to reclaim it. Each time we allow another to "Control" our decisions and direction in life, we have given away our power to them. Every time we allow another's actions to cause us to hate, retaliate, fear, or mourn we have given away our power to an influence outside ourselves and opened our inner spirit to negativity. No one can take our power, we give it away. Each act of hate or darkness increases the energy of the world to more hate, darkness and more destruction and each act of love and light increases the energy of the world toward healing. Ask yourself, "Have I given away my power?" and if the answer is "Yes," start on a journey today to recover it.
On Being A Woman - 5/18/2004 7:19:25 AM
Daughters Of The Eternal Mother
I have never had an issue with being born female, nor envied men in any way. The sexes were not created to be in competition but should be blending as Earth and Sky do, to complete the beauty of the universe. There should be mutual respect and admiration between them. If it were so, there would be no need for an equal rights ammendment where women are concerned, for women and men are equal but different in the ways they approach life and it would be recognized and appreciated. I consider it a privilige to be the vessel through which new life makes it appearance into the world and the nurturer of all life. If you are a woman and feel inferior to men, it's time to realize your beauty and importance to the universe and if you are a man feeling superior to women, just remember, without a woman you wouldn't be here.
On Being A Love Goddess - 5/19/2004 1:43:18 AM
Life Is Strange In The Fast Lane!
If someone had told me a few years ago that today I would be an internationally known poet of romance and erotica and referred to as a “Love Goddess,” I think I would have died with a heart attack, or laughed myself to death…whichever was fastest. It just goes to show you, you never know where the next bend in the road will take you and it pays not to close your heart and mind to the possibilities. What’s it like to be labeled this way? Well at times it’s incredible and makes you feel desirable, beautiful and somewhat intelligent. Other times you get obscene hate mail and it wounds your heart while you wonder why anyone would hate a person who writes of love and passion. There are bad hair days and times when you’re glad your faithful readers can’t see how you’re dressed as you sit at the pc and write poetry because your “Image” would quickly disappear. There are times you feel about as sexy as Mother Teresa with a bad cold but you still have deadlines to meet on an erotic short story, so you train yourself to think sensuously no matter how you may feel. There are emails with indecent proposals....or marriage proposals and you wonder, “Why am I doing this?” Those times a reader writes to you pouring out their heart and asking for advice, because they say they sense the genuine love in yours; or a high school or college student writes asking permission to use your poetry as examples of modern day romance poetry in their literature classes. Those are the days a “Love Goddess” is THE thing to be!
That's My Story & I'm Sticking To It - 5/20/2004 6:07:16 AM
If You Say It, You Own It.
I’ve said many things in life I’ve lived to regret but I don’t disown what I say. If I say it I own it and whether you like it or not, the words you say… or write, belong to you, even if you deny them, they still belong to you. Even if you write them under a false name, they still belong to you. The hurt caused by words can be apologized for, but it can never be unsaid. It can be forgiven but many times never forgotten. Yes we have freedom of speech in this country, but there is a higher law, the law that love does not hurt. Now if truth with good intentions, stated without malice hurts, then so be it, it has not transgressed the law of love but what of those angry accusations, vengeful retaliations that should never have been spoken? Weigh your words before you spit them out or scribble them hastily over a page, they are powerful for good, or evil. They touch hearts and lives, they build or they destroy.
Poets Or Not? - 5/22/2004 2:59:42 AM
There Are Those Who Write Poetry, And Then There Are Poets
I used to believe that being a minister was the most important and sacred of callings. They officiate at the momentous occasions of life, baptism, marriage, funerals. The good ones care for the flock and have a genuine empathy for people. Now I realize that perhaps a poet has the highest of callings, though some may abuse it. A poet may not personally be there during important occasions or times of need, but he is the one whose words are read in the midnights of life. The one who touches the deepest emotions and nuances of the soul. He possesses within him a link to the totality of human experience and dreams. He has a relationship to all mankind inclusive of strengths and weaknesses, good and evil. Through him or her the river of life flows and waters all that it touches. Do I think that being a poet is a calling? Oh absolutely, it is a commission from the Creator, a partnership with divinity, every true poet realizes this because the poetry is something that comes from beyond himself and pours through his mind and pen to touch the world. There are those who write poetry or something akin to it, they are writers; but the true poets... they are the one’s with a gift that has come from infinity to embrace and change the world. They are the ones who will still be read a hundred or more years after their words are penned.
My Inheritance - 6/17/2004 8:09:11 AM
I'm A Wealthy Woman!
My father was a wonderful man. One who worked hard and was more honest than anyone I’ve ever known. He was kind, generous and respectful to everyone. I never…in all the years I knew him, heard him speak evil of anyone, even when they deserved it. He was always giving to those in need and though, until the end of his life he swore off “Religion” and the church such as my mother embraced, he was one of the most holy and Christ-like men I knew. Oh he drank a little, cursed a tad, but I never, never saw him break the law of love and to me that was Godlike. He was a peace loving soul, and would go to almost any extreme to keep the peace. As a prison guard he had almost unlimited authority over the prisoners in his charge, yet he never hit one or fired his gun at any, except in a warning shot. He always said there were better ways to handle men, than brutality. He had a wonderfully wicked sense of humor and knew how to make everyone around him laugh. He taught me about love and gentle strength. I miss him terribly and think of him often. Father’s day is an especially difficult time for me each year but I know the soul lives on and I can still feel him near me at times and almost hear his mischievious laughter. Thank you for the inheritance, Daddy.
