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Blogs by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart
You Never Know
12/29/2009 4:35:05 AM
YOU DON'T KNOW... BUT DO YOU WANT TO?
You never know what another person’s life is like, the things they have experienced. You don’t know and you never will, unless you take the time and effort to care about other people. The question is, do you want to know? Do you feel that friendship is worth the sacrifices you will have to make to understand and contribute to the life of another and to have them contribute to yours?
Superficiality is the bane of relationships. A pleasant passing in the night of ships that never really see each other or even turn their radios on to communicate. Can you be satisfied with such shallowness between people? If you can then emptiness will fill your life. No man or woman is an island. If you try to be one you will eventually sink into a sea of frustration and loneliness.
I know these days honest, loving friendship is not something that happens too often. We are a very mobile society. Very few people seem to stay in one place for long periods of time. Mobility isn’t conducive to close, lasting friendships. Then there is the element of fear, times are chaotic and dangerous. Trust is certainly at a low point in these modern times of selfishness and greed. There is a whole class of people who use, abuse and discard others.
The only way you are ever going to mine the riches in other lives is to take a chance with the safety of your heart and show concern for others. The only way you will ever truly know someone is if they feel you are worthy of opening their hearts and lives to.
Unfounded fear is the enemy of every good thing in life. We can choose to be controlled by fear or by love. I believe even if we make the unfortunate choice to offer our friendship to an unworthy person, because it is done with concern and love it won't destroy us should that person prove to be someone who doesn't value us or our friendship. Everything in life is a maturing, learning experience. We are deepened emotionally, intellectually, spiritually by each experience, even the ones (perhaps especially) the ones that break our hearts.
One thing the internet has done is to bring people from great distances together and allow them to stay in contact even if they move many times in a lifetime. It can be an incomparable tool for developing and nurturing friendships but unfortunately it can sometimes be the Devil’s advocate and bring pain into lives that they would never have experienced if they had not connected to others far away with openness and trust.
The problem is, how do you know the trustworthy from the users. I believe we all have an inner intuition but honestly sometimes it just doesn’t work the way we would hope for it to. I think the only way you can know is with communication and time. If the friendship has a positive effect on your life and the person, over a period of time, proves to be a true friend, then you have struck gold. If the opposite happens, cut your losses but don’t close your heart to the next opportunity to know and be known in a trusting relationship.
Great friendships don’t just “Happen” they are initiated and nurtured over time. Wherever you find such an honest connection, whether next door or thousands of miles away, learn how to cultivate it. Learn how to nurture others though their good times and especially their bad ones. Be the kind of friend who inspires the ones they care about to become all they were created to be. Accept others as they are, don’t expect to change them. Appreciate them in all their colorful differences. But you will change them and they will change you with the open honesty of a friendship that is caring and real. There is a passage in the Bible about friends being like iron that sharpens iron. If you find a few or even one friend, who sharpens you that way, don’t ever let go of the beauty of what you and your friend have found together. It’s rare and it’s one of the greatest treasures of a lifetime.
We are constantly growing, changing. A true friend is a great force for change for they lovingly balance our imperfections and inspire us to become better in all areas of our hearts and lives.
Happy New Year to all. May your existing friendships deepen and may many new ones be waiting for you just around the corner.
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