Suffering from Peripheral Neuropathy 8/19/2013 6:08:12 AM
Living with the pain of peripheral neuropathy is next to unbearable. In 1978, I was diagnosed with Diabetes Mellitus, Type II. From 1978 to 2000, I had relatively few problems from diabetes, with the exception of developing retinopathy. I retired from teaching in 1999, and my wife retired in 2000. To celebrate our retirement, we, along with another couple, flew to Las Vegas, where we rented a car and took a 4000-mile drive, taking in many of the awesome treasures the West has to offer. During that long journey, my right great toe started to get numb. That was the beginning. The numbness didn't go away. When I later told my primary care physician about it, he said I was probably developing diabetic neuropathy. The numbness began getting worse. In fact, the same thing happened to my left great toe. Within a couple of years, both of my feet were numb, and along with it, I had an intense burning sensation. It wasn't too bad during the daytime; however, when evening set in, most of my evening hours became almost intolerable. At this point in my life, the numbness and burning has advanced as far as above my knees, and I also have moderate neuropathy in my left hand and moderate to severe in my right. I have had EMG/Nerve Conduction Studies that confirm all of this. Diabetes is a terrible disease. It invades the entire body. As stated previously, I have retinopathy in both eyes and have been told that I will probably be legally blind one day. However, there is no pain with retinopathy, but the mere thought of going blind is terrifying. Neuropathy is another story, though. I would not wish this condition on my worst enemy. In fact, it has gotten to the place that I can say, most assuredly, that it has ruined my life. (Only those who suffer from the pain of neuropathy can understand why I would say this condition has ruined my life). Where it once only bothered me during the evening hours, it has reached the point that it has invaded my daytime hours as well. I cannot begin to express how depressing this is. I do hope no one has me pegged by now as being anything other than a whiner. I am merely saying that this condition I have to endure is something I know there are others suffering with it as well. Please know that I think about all of you and pray that you can somehow find even brief moments of comfort and happiness in your lives. Today is my wedding anniversary. My wife and I have been married forty-six years. She is such a blessing to me. In fact, I have no idea what I would do without her in my life at this time. She is my rock. She worries about me and tries her best to offer what comfort she can. She's always telling me, "I wish there was something I could do for you." Just knowing she is there for me helps tremendously. On the other hand, I have guilt feelings for putting her through all this, knowing she could have a better quality of life without me and all my problems. I also feel guilty that I can no longer be the parent to my two sons and two grandsons that I would like to be. Dad and Papaw doesn't feel like doing anything, and I feel sorry for them because of it. At this point, I will sign off. I merely wanted to express my feelings about the way that neuropathy has changed my life. Thank you for listening.
