I grew up under the shadow of an abuser. I cannot forget nor will life let me; he is here and there and everywhere, wearing different faces different places.

Inspiration in Reverse

You are an inspiration in reverse
As you do the wrong thing at the right time
Make me bloom better as you wizen worse
Grist for a counterintuitive mill
Train-wreck careenings refracted to rhyme

Your freefall continues and so I will
Never lack negative inspiration
A cautionary tale as one might say
An embodiment and evocation
Of how bitterness eats the soul away

With your example of what not to do
Seen in a spotlight as you fall apart
I wince at your pain as you fail again
Here in the audience mind my own heart
And pray God I never end up like you

As with a shudder I pull the rudder
Away from the scene of the accident
I leave you to rant in your stinking stew
You inspired me whatever your intent

You thought if you made a big enough noise
If you could prove yourself a bully too
Then they would let you play with the big boys
But too late: here comes fate to bully you

May God have mercy on what is left of
You and those who will now be bereft of
You who doubtless wish you had not left love
Back there behind out of sight out of mind

You are an inspiration in reverse
Make me bloom better as you wizen worse

+Steven Curtis Lance



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