Goldilocks, Goldilocks, you must let me in

Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin

Grandma, why are your ears so big

The better to hear when I eat the first pig

Then I’ll huff and I’ll Puff

And I’ll blow your house down

Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your Hair

Someone’s been sitting in mama bear’s chair

Papa bear growled “someone’s been in my chair too”

As the number of pigs was reduced down to two

And I’ll huff and I’ll puff

And I’ll blow your chair down

Grandma why are your eyes so big

The better to see when I eat the next pig

The sky is a-fallin Henny-Penny proclaimed

 There was now but one pig left to be maimed

And I’ll huff but not puff and

I’ll use C-4* to blow your house down

Baby bear cried “my chair is in pieces”

As we near the end of this fairy tale thesis

The King must be told Henny said to her friends

So Turkey-Lurkey and Cocky-Locky jumped into their Benz

With Michelin tires they made record time

As the wolf ate the third pig completing his crime

The King shot Turkey-Lurkey, Cocky-Locky and Henny-Penny too

And along with Mother Goose all went into his stew

Rapunzel got pregnant

The prince got the blame

Goldilocks does porn flicks

Using porridge for a game

Red Riding Hood is living

Somewhere on skid row

Working for the woodcutter

As his primary Ho’

The wolf lives in Lake Tahoe

With den mates and laughter

The only one of the bunch

To live happily ever after

THE END

 * Correction from C-5 as previously stated, as noted by Rufuz and Ed. Plus you can't call me puppy cause I'm 9 and "you know who" will take advantage.