Bullish or Bearish

Aloof or Carish

Chicken or Darish

Selfish or Fairish

Casual or Garish

Baldish or Hairish

Plainspoken or Jargonish

Destinist or Karmaish

Outdoorsy or Lairish

Land Locked or Marinish

Wide or Narrowish

Oarless or Oarish

Independent or Parish

Calm or Quarrelish

Common or Rarish

Roundish or Squarish

Luster or Tarnish

Forceful or Unarmish

Unfinish or Varnish

Dovish or Warish

Contented or Yearnish

Score: 21-40

You are a simple down to earth person who uses food to supplant most of your emotional needs and likes it that way. You are a bit directionless but your conversations are always understandable. They are just not interesting. You take cuts in any line that you can. You are optimistic about the future but too lazy and fearful to do anything about it. You prefer camping at the KOA in the middle of the woods to a day at the beach. You are generally peaceful but will arm wrestle to the death for the last jelly doughnut. Your dog is a Virgo.

Score: 41-65

You are a little less certain about the future but do care about events to come. You have a basic idea of where you are headed but lack the complete motivational package to get you to the next level. You go to church once in awhile and try to stay out of most arguments. You can be persuasive in your actions if someone threatens to drink your beer. You like to fish at the local fish farm. You sometimes wear plaid pants.

Your dog is a Gemini.

Score: 66-90

You figure the future is pretty much screwed up but you do care so you did pay your Sierra Club and Greenpeace dues hoping that the combined organizational efforts will have an impact. You tried ski jumping but after you broke your ankle you now just sit in the clubhouse admiring the ski bunnies. You tend to daydream about what might have been were it not for that one burglary arrest. Your parole officer turned priest enjoys your confessions at least twice a week. You tend to get in arguments you know you can’t win especially about wardrobe. You know where you are going, you just don’t like it. Your dog is a Taurus.

Score 91-105

After you blew all your self directed 401(k) money in Las Vegas it is clear that your future is unsettling. Despite your sterling attendance every Sunday the folks at the church finally figured out why the offering plates were coming up empty when you helped pass them. You do have a sense of fairness as you did share the proceeds with your brother to pay his bail. You are a sharp dresser but silk suits and gold shoes don’t really work at the bait shop where you now work part time to pay back the pastor. You’d like nothing better than for the commies and their like to be nuked to oblivion if you could just find them on a map. You reminisce constantly about the good old days wishing for their return but your parole officer keeps reminding you that your ex-wife is remarried. To him. Your uncommon qualities tend to get you into arguments constantly that you never win because you are such a wimp. You are convinced you will be a goat in your next life. Your dog was a Capricorn but it left you for a poodle.

 Copyright 2009 Patrick A Granfors