1

If you think my dog is crazy

You should see my other child

There’s something in my DNA

That makes all my offspring wild

2

My silly monkey’s uncle

Got in bed with uncle’s aunts

The monkey business resulted

In the zookeep’s last romance

3

If I had to choose between a root canal

Or another night spent with you

The smell of drilled enamel

Would be welcome Déjà vu

4

You’ve got a strange sense of humor

On that we’ll both agree

What I fail to understand is why

You take it out on me

5

Every dog has its day

Some have more than others

Judging by your litters

You’ve been sleeping with your brothers

6

Displaying culinary talent

Isn’t something that you do

Water’s hard to boil

When you haven’t got a clue

7

You remind me of the tin man

Always looking for a heart

Not because you want one

But just to tear someone’s apart

8

You should have joined the circus

Instead of taking chances

There at least you could be trained

How to juggle your romances

9

Cedar, Pine and Maple

Are the things I tend to see

When I have to speak to you

It’s like talking to a tree

10

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

Humpty’s wife went to the mall

A double disaster for Humpty’s ill fame

 Mrs. Dumpty spent his whole disability claim

11

You think you have the midas touch

Your ego just won’t quit

I’m here to burst your bubble

What you touch just turns to sh*t

12

Salt and pepper

Ice cream and cake

Being with you

Makes my head ache

13

Your middle name should be commercial

The way you crush my train of thought

With your 30 seconds worth of drivel

Your conversation lacks a plot

Copyright 2009 Patrick Granfors