I never squeeze the Charmin
Its price would drive me bust
I won’t buy Scott tissue
Because it feels just like sawdust
The Safeway brand is useless
Melts right into your hand
Along with all its contents
That’s more than I can stand
I’d buy the Cottonelle because
It has a doggy on its wrapper
But it’s also too expensive
To be using at my crapper
Even with the coupons
The price is out of sight
The rolls have gotten so damn small
I can’t find them late at night
But there may be a solution to
Kill two birds with just one stone
I get a lot of useless catalogs
I could place them near my throne
It is a cheap replacement
Keeps them out of the city dump
And gives me an upper crustic chance
To have Neiman Marcus kiss my rump
Copyright 2009 Patrick A. Granfors
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Do they think we won't notice? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Thank God for great light verse penners like you. SO good at making lemonade outta lemons by sugaring them with wit. Great rhyme and
rhythm!! T h a n k s, man !! xOx Pea xOx
bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.
"Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the
differences in all these toilet papers?"
"Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a
baby's kiss.
It's $1.50 per roll." He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft,
strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll." Pointing to the bottom shelf he
tells her, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20cents per roll."
"Give me the No Name," she says.
She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey!
I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne."
"Why?" he asks.
"Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap off anybody!"
Georg
Wipe on, my man, wipe on. Liz
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Anna giggle.....
And some brands leave those bits of tissue behind
that, at the end of the day, become itchy
brown stink berries. (-: