Marlboro Man Meets Pantene (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

Marlboro Man Meets Pantene
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Just when you thought it was safe to wash your hair.
Now I am not a chemist but Once again while in the shower Dripping wet is when it seems That inspiration invokes its power Peering through the foamy suds as I scrubbed my head and read the label A witch’s brew of chemical madness Scary derivatives of the atomic table Chromium Hydroxide green Boy doesn’t that sound nice It’s lethal cousin hexavalent Has killed many, many mice Diethanolamine (DEA) Is the agent that makes the foam They call it Cocamide MEA So it can be brought into your home The problem is that these compounds Can form evil nitrosamines That’s related to the same bad stuff That’s found in nicotines So now my head is smoking As my skin absorbs this blight The only odd side benefit is My dong now glows at night I could regress a hundred years And wash my hair with eggs But the side effect of that might be To End up with chicken legs Copywrite 2009 Patrick Granfors

Reviewed by Richard Atwood

Reviewed on January 1, 2010

Wow -- watch out for those night glows!

A good laugh on that one.

Reviewed by Jo Pelletier (Reader)

Reviewed on December 18, 2009

Thanks for your humor...I loved it. It is pretty scary, the stuff we use that has all these chemicals.[found you at R. Cederberg's site--there are no accidents] Your wife was right to have you on AD. ~JO

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila

Reviewed on December 14, 2009

Hahahahaha!!!! Hilarious!!! Your sense of humor is wonderful...thanks for the giggles.....

Anna

Reviewed by Georg Mateos

Reading the list of components and additives of shampoo, clothes, food! is like reading a biological-terrorist wishing list! Whatever happened to plain apples? if they were good for Eva and the snake why should we want differently?

Georg

Reviewed by Elizabeth Price

Reviewed on December 13, 2009

lol. Hysterical. Love it. Liz

Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER

Patric your a hoot, to tell you, this lighted dong might come in handy to find your way in the dark, into dark places you haven't been before. It be best to keep it under wraps, don't give the industry, any more ideas, God only knows, they might to make it into a fashionable item. I myself, use Neem powder, a natural product from the Neem tree in India, it's considered holy, darn coming to think of it, there are side effects, but then a halo goes good with my very good behaviour ha,,, Blessings! Jasmin Horst

Reviewed by Paul Berube

Cute write, Patrick. Very well done.

Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)

The fluoride in the water is bad enough. It's the industrial by-product of aluminum production first given to concentration camp prisoners to make them "docile." Then they sold this bill of goods to the American people to put it in our tap water. Now you know why we have the government we have.