Twin sisters named Whiner & Diner

Were at home one Saturday night

Whiner just sat around groaning

Diner felt like picking a fight

Sitting on our asses is all that we do

Sister Whiner managed to complain

While my ass is bigger we both have a full figure

Sister Diner protested in vain

So they called upon two of their best old friends

Poker and Choker were their names

They wanted to arrange a hot night on the town

With some good looking men seeking flames

Marvin Chestnut was born with a big butt

He hadn’t been laid in a year

That experience was lacking the mallard still quacking

Sweet nothings into his ear

The company fired him for romantic involvement

With their mascot so widely enamored

His career was destroyed and left unemployed

He headed for Dooley’s to get hammered

The group simultaneously arrived at Dooley’s

With Marvin the only man in the place

The mallard lurked in the shadows

Intent on preventing disgrace

But the women all had their way with Marvin

And Marvin had no complaint

For when you Whiner and Diner & Poker and Choker

There’s no point in showing restraint

Marvin’s big night ended happily

Not the rest I’m sorry to report

While a woman scorned can be a problem

The mallard is demanding chick support

Copyright 2010 Patrick A. Granfors