Forged in Diddle Earth’s lost caverns

 So many many long moons ago

By the squatty and balding Diddlies

Who were led by their squatty King Bo

Their craftsmanship was truly pathetic

The three rings they fashioned defective

When King Bo saw their work he became angry

And he issued the following directive

“Bury the first one atop of the mountain

Toss the second one into the sea

I will consider the fate of the third

Its disposition will be left up to me”

So the Diddlies scurried off to their duty

While King Bo groused about in a stew

And hidden behind rocks there sat Gellum

Who knew exactly what he was planning to do

When the King fell asleep Gellum acted

He stole the ring and escaped with the goods

He ended up deep in Wisconsin

Where he built an old shack in the woods

He fathered three sons in that wilderness

Their resemblance to him unmistakable

A taskmaster cruel old Gellum was no fool

He made his sons’ spirit almost unbreakable

Then he sent the three lads off on a mission

Retrieve the other two rings and return

For when the three rings were brought together

The local pawn shop promised money to burn

Pee Wee headed out for New Mexico

Edvard joined the merchant marines

Jersey headed for the great dismal swamp

To mask the odor he caused eating beans

When Pee Wee got to the mountain

The Diddlies were lying in wait

They saw his face recalling Gellum’s disgrace

Now Pee Wee would suffer a cruel fate

But a mean tall woman suddenly appeared

Virgin Queen of the Diddlie Clan

She pulled out the ring and then slipped it

Through his nose, she had captured her man

Edvard woke up face down on the beach

Having consumed three cases of beer

He saw a gold ring laying there in the sand

And he slid it into the lobe of his ear

Their mission complete the boys headed home

Pee Wee being towed by his spouse

Getting used to a nose ring would take some time

A little setback for the man of the house

Edvard stopped by his favorite bar

And ended up staying half of the night

He looked slightly cross eyed at a hooker

And ended up in one hell of a fight

The night took its toll on poor Edvard

No match drinking all of that beer

The hooker had him were she wanted

She bit the ring off along with his ear

The boys made it home minus one of the rings

Gellum was beyond broken hearted

As Jersey wafted in like swamp gas

Claiming not to have farted

The reunion set the stage for many more years

In the smelly old cabin memory lingers

Gellum never dared to touch Pee Wee’s ring

For fear mean tall woman would break fingers

And in his old age Gellum gave up his ring

And passed it on to Jersey Ed as a gift

His fingers were too fat so he wears it on his toe

It’s been said Jersey Ed was never swift

Copyright 2010 Patrick A Granfors