There once was a chicken named Stella

Who contracted a case of rubella

If you ate her eggs runny

The results were not funny

So they recalled them for salmonella

There once was a farmer named Titus

Who suffered from rheumatoid arthritis

When it rained joints would ache

The funny noises he’d make

Made you wonder if he also had colitis

There once was a very young beaver

Who came down with rheumatic fever

When her tail was inflamed

It made her ashamed

Because no other beaver would believe her

The once was a man named Litos

Who was bitten by hungry mosquitoes

Thought he’d contracted malaria

Went into hysteria

Till he learned he was allergic to Doritos

A man whose name we won’t mention

Suffered from acute hypertension

The doctor prescribed pills

But that caused further ills

By affecting his private extension

A man went to his doctor for a rash

But the doctor was exceedingly brash

The marks on his belly

Were sticky and smelly

So he ordered him to stop sleeping with trash

There once was young man named Nate

Who developed an enlarged prostate

Full of vinegar and piss

His opportunities to kiss

Were compromised when he went out on a date

There once was old man named Floyd

Preparation H he decided to avoid

But to his chagrin

His alphabet sin

Was rewarded with an unhappy rhoid

Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors