Ride of the Sardines (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

Ride of the Sardines
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Just unveiled at a recent aviation show the "Standing Skyrider" seat is touted a way for economy airlines to pack the rows even closer together, with passengers half standing. Why don't they just take all the seats out and install standing poles and hand holds like on the subway? Then they could get even more passengers on board. Lordy Lordy.

They’re always searching for ways To make airline travel worse But here’s a new improvement That inspired this latest verse It’s called a standing skyrider To me looks like a saddle Bolted together in triplicate Three cheeks it soon will paddle Once installed on airplanes Discomfort won’t be lacking With that little hump stuck in our rump Butt jokes we’ll all be cracking Though the joke is on the traveler Which of course, is me and you After a couple of hours stuck in that thing The punch line might be the crew I can see Lance Armstrong smiling Although flying’s lost all romance We’ll all soon have the opportunity To take the airborne tour d’ France Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors

Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater

Reviewed on September 18, 2010

Wonder what Orville and Wilbur would say about this? Wright Brothers open-air cockpit has something to crow about, another reason to stay grounded and not fly the friendly skies...who wants to be that close to anybody who ate sardines?

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

I'm for extra-wide seating for big-assed Americans... not!

Us ergonomist got to stick together and come up with more ways to torture people for money, honey.

Ron

Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

Reviewed on September 17, 2010

I'm claustrophobic; this poem doesn't help. But it's still good! Well done, Patrick!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. (((0.o)))

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

Thank God my flying days are over - I practically lived at airports - and I truly hated all the constant delays. And these wretched days on these cattle car, everything is extra airplanes, I'd much rather drive, and enjoy the scenery.

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila

Hilarious! Surely they're not serious about that seat! The name of this poem drew me in...and I sure wasn't expecting what I found. I love your style and your sense of humor is heartwarming!!!! Thanks so much Patrick...I can always count on your poetry to lift my spirits!

Hugs,
Anna

Reviewed by Paul Berube

Thanks for the info, Patrick. Well told.

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan

Reviewed on September 16, 2010

yuck!

Reviewed by Christine Tsen

OMG I'm so claustrophobic already! This is too funny. Your poetry has soothing anti-depressive effects.
I still think of your Tower of Power when I get depressed.
Thanks for this!
Christine

Reviewed by Richard King

Another really cute write, Patrick. Nice to know I can always count on you for my daily smile. I'd heard about this on "Leno" (or Letterman) but I thought it was a joke.... Progress? Thanks Dick

Reviewed by Eileen Granfors

Ha ha! Here's hoping our favorite airline to MO doesn't add this to their list of discomforts. ps: I think it's 6 cheeks.