AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Cheri Clifton, iEva Pasco, iTracey Morait, iJoshua Su, iMichael Gorton, iWilliam Manchee, iMel Hathorn, iDonald Beaulieu, iMartin Treon, iTodd Cheney, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Patrick A Granfors

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Articles
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· 555 Titles
· 6,316 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: May, 2009

Patrick A Granfors, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Selective Reading Disorder
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook

I don't think I'm alone


Poem Artwork

Selective Reading Disorder

A condition I seem to have acquired

It’s not listed in medical journals

Doctor’s reading is not required

 

The symptoms here I cannot deny

Trying to digest Congressional articles

The words make me steam and ultimately scream

As from my bastion I blast Senatorial farticles

 

I tried taking a TUM to soothe my poor bum

Some Di-gel to relieve my overstressed moon

Like a natural gas field their smug looks make me yield

Enough volume to fill a hot air balloon

 

I avoid reading their crap for that reason

I note also they will soon be resurgent

In the mean time I’m saving a fortune

In underwear bleach and detergent

 

Considering the butt crack or political hack

The line between the two has been thinned

Right cheek or left, liberal or not

It’s the center that gets most of the wind

 

So for now I will stick to the funnies

And limit my Sunday syllables to three

My Selective Reading Disorder

Will not get the better of me

 

 

Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors

 

 


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Selective Reading Disorder"
Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on November 19, 2010
Patrick,I came back and you haven't changed, still doing what your
a pro at, these gems,even when the subject stinks,your writing is top brand perfume!;-)
luv,et

Reviewed on November 19, 2010
Now look here Patrick, you passed whatever it is on, and caused a great stink, cheeky stuff or not, try to use the pot, use that paper for something other than the eyes, like you said it's all a bunch of lies, anyway, test it first on Mildred, or Eileen, before you vent your speen ha, I think she's got her eyes fixed now, she might, I can't, read that fine print. Bless ya! Jasmin Horst

Reviewed by Mark Lichterman
Reviewed on November 19, 2010
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! So you no longer watch KNBC or Fox News.
Mark

Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Reviewed on November 19, 2010
You are the comical leader here at AD anymore as my humorous seems to have taken a powder...this one was especially funny...e

Reviewed by Christine Tsen
Reviewed on November 19, 2010
Caustically whimsical, so funny!!!
Do you know you have me analyzing the art work my dog makes out of his daily excretions?
Blessings,
Christine

Reviewed by TONY NERONE
Reviewed on November 19, 2010
Excellent writing.


Namaste
Tony

Reviewed by Paul Berube
Reviewed on November 19, 2010
Very well said, Patrick.

Reviewed by Chip Bergeron
Reviewed on November 19, 2010
AMEN!!!!!

Chip Bergeron

Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater
Reviewed on November 19, 2010
It's better than dyslexia! At least you're not shitting backwards, dude! Politically correct Angel Soft or White Cloud, be a two-ply label reader. How much crap can we really take? Selective reading keeps us regular...

Love,
Sage

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
Reviewed on November 19, 2010
clever but oh so true


New Poetry by Patrick A Granfors
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized by Jay Dubya

Author Jay Dubya satirizes 20 Mark Twain stories in adult language and content.  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II is adult literature featuring adult language and situations that satirizes thirteen famous novellas and short stories. It is Jay Dubya's sixteenth ebook.  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II is adult literature featuring adult language and situations that satirizes thirteen famous novellas and short stories. It is Jay Dubya's sixteenth ebook.  
Member BookAds