Caturdstrophe (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

Caturdstrophe
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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On April 14, 2010 I posted a set of 5-7-5’s lamenting my failed toilet’s lack of available replacement parts, followed by a December 7th 2010 acknowledgment that it was time to actually replace the damn thing. Eileen reminded me yesterday it had been a year since she made her seemingly reasonable initial request. (It was actually a year and 13 days). Hey we have TWO toilets here! Nevertheless fate intervened yesterday forcing immediate action. I successfully replaced it this morning. I will reiterate……I really hate doing plumbing work. To the tune “Sugar in the Morning”
Floaties in the bath tub Floaties in the shower Floaties across the floor Must call Roto-rooter this thing don’t flush no more I should have done this last week Or maybe a month before I know it was running slowly A stinky problem was is store Oh Floaties in the bath tub Floaties in the shower Floaties across the floor Must call Roto-rooter this thing don’t flush no more What the hell was I thinking? How lazy can I be? Now I’m out two hundred dollars Just so I can take a pee Oh Floaties in the bath tub Floaties in the shower Floaties across the floor Must call Roto-rooter this thing don’t flush no more Paid the man a fortune For snaking out the clog But for what the poor guy had to do He's not living high off the hog No Floaties in the bath tub Floaties in the shower Floaties across the floor I finally got off my dead ass and finally, finally, finally Finally, my butt can roar! Copyright 2011 Patrick Granfors

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila

Reviewed on March 15, 2011

Hahahahahahahaha!!! This is hilarious! Thanks for the lovely little ditty...I'll be humming it all day long...giggle...

Anna

Reviewed by Regis Schilken

Reviewed on March 14, 2011

This is hysterical. It brings back memories of floaties in my garage and coming out of the vent in thre driveway. I rented a roto rooter device only to have it disconnected in the drain. To retrieve it, I had to have part of the driveway dug up to get rid of the floaties. You are 100% correct. The floatie man deserves what he gets paid!

rege

Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)

i think you should perhaps be a little more transparent about what's really happening over in patrick's world! i see deep metaphorical allegories here which give me much to ponder and yes, i did and always do enjoy such things immensely.

Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader)

Oh my heavens too much info.. cute indeed sweet man..Hugsss

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

Eileen reminded me yesterday it had been a year since she made her seemingly reasonable initial request.

I've painfully learned that a nice, clean, functioning toilet is truly the way to a woman's heart!

Reviewed by Mark Lichterman

Reviewed on March 13, 2011

Remember the road to hell is paved with stinky, squishy floaties.
Mark

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

And you complain about my "stinky" fart poems; I think this was a bit TMI, who wants to even think about you and your butt tooting to the sound of Sugar in the Morning...e

Reviewed by Susan Bergeron

a real rootin tootin kind of problem...good poem...Sue

Reviewed by Chip Bergeron

That sounds only too familiar....hasve you been using my plumbing...

Chip Bergeron

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Plumbing is always with us, like death and taxes. Got rocking to this dirty little ditty.

Ron

Reviewed by Christine Tsen

Oh my goodness Patrick! I'm glad things have gotten flushed out...ha ha!
Happy tooting,
Christine

Reviewed by Kate Burnside

Tuuuuuuurdiffic, Patrick! Reminds me of old seventies rock festivals when the bogs were... just that, and even more so when the heavens opened. Sounds to me like your innards are in the peak of health, though... if you're producin floaties... Now you got plumbin to match! :)) xx