AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Ella Rydzewski, iBob Brink, iJohn Henning, iRichard Cederberg, iBob mitchley #shock stories, iRobin Ouzman Hislop, iJennifer Miller, iMyra Darwish, iPawan Mishra, iDietmar Rothe, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Patrick A Granfors

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Articles
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· 555 Titles
· 6,316 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: May, 2009

Patrick A Granfors, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Dirty Poetry
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook

Young William gets an order from mom to clean up his room.


Poem Artwork

Embraceth now thy lowly youthful swinelet whose wallowed temple

doth persuade the dubious essence of thy foul woolen sole mates

by whose very presence upon the heap conceals the dastardly brown streaks besmearing thy scrawny pantlets which if to cover thy most private and sensitive entities without the familiar reek of thy honeypot’s effluent or as such bear the shameful disdain of thy siblings whose sniggling behind thy patulous backside emotes the tattling accusations of clutter speak for they are within my gentle and copious graces for obedience of thy maternal boar herder’s wishful inklings of proper order and godliness that which for its own reward establishes a worthy submission to its calling for it is weary patience that will prevail such that thy musty dusty garments may be cleansed of thy ills ruminating in the lye pools of thy humble abode’s bogwell for such time as may be commanded and yet as well prevent the confiscation of thy quill and scroll until I have cast my sight deep into thy sty of plentitude to provoke the gods of assurance so that I may succumb to the glorious realization that it has become emptied of its travesty. I beseech thy cooperative transformation from thy slothly proclivity before the shadow of Sol’s most exquisite timepiece eclipses the morning’s sacred temporal boundary.

 

Capiche?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2012 Patrick Granfors

 

 

 

 

 

 


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Dirty Poetry"
Reviewed by Vivian Dawson
Reviewed on February 5, 2012
Mom thinks best...as long as being
tidy does not stifle creativity?

Lady Vivian

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on February 3, 2012
Methinks young never cleaned his room ....

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on February 3, 2012
So well done, Patrick. You put "The Bard" to shame. ☻ Love and peace,

Regis

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on February 3, 2012
Wow - my mother said the exact same thing to my brother - but she said it in Polish.

Reviewed on February 2, 2012
CUZ PAT .... SUPERB LAMPOON ... FORSOOTH !!!


Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Reviewed on February 2, 2012
Too weird & too funny...e

Reviewed by Paul Berube
Reviewed on February 2, 2012
Quite unique to say the least. Well done.

Reviewed by Mark Lichterman
Reviewed on February 2, 2012
Now could this really be from young Will or that anonymous duke that supposedly really did all the writing... Humm, this stuff I almost understand... Almost.
Mark

Reviewed by Richard King
Reviewed on February 2, 2012
I was lost before I got half way through that first sentence, but like Jerry, I got the capiche part. Never was no damn good at understanding Shakespeare.

Dick

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton
Reviewed on February 2, 2012
I understood the capiche part . . . Of course I did. I was married to a New York Eye-talian.


New Poetry by Patrick A Granfors
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  5.  Milkman's letter
  6.  Newfangled Things
  7.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  8.  The Last Second
  9.  Laughing As I Flee...
  10.  Amazing Grapes
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  My First Heart Attack
  14.  A Salt and Batter
  15.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  16.  Houston Greats
  17.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Bad Boy
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II is adult literature featuring adult language and situations that satirizes thirteen famous novellas and short stories. It is Jay Dubya's sixteenth ebook.  
Member BookAds

The Wholly Book of Genesis by Jay Dubya

The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.  
Member BookAds

A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon and Other Ravings from the Blogosp by Edward Patterson

A Collection of Daily Quotes, a glossary of author terms, a Drag Queens Advice Column and other tidbits, all wrapped up in one enjoyable volume  
Member BookAds