Sequastration

 Congress’s economic equivalent of neutering bulls using a chain saw to perform precise surgical incisions in totally random locations with the expectation that the beasts will thrive, grow and multiply.

Balanced Budget

The grand illusion that if you make the minimum payments on your credit card you may continue to charge them up to the maximum and then get another one.

Minor Budget Deficit

The first acknowledgment that the total of the minimum payments on your credit cards exceeds your annual net income.

Major Budget Deficit

The first acknowledgment that the total of the minimum payments on your credit cards exceeds your annual gross income.

Disguised Tax Increases

Governmental solution to reducing Minor Budget Deficits...medically equivalent to giving a patient a blood transfusion in his left arm by drawing it from his right arm and charging him extra for it.

Legislated Tax Increases

Governmental solution to reducing Major Budget Deficits….medically equivalent to curing a patient of anemia by using leeches and then selling the blood to Count Dracula.

Debt Ceiling

The mythical current value of the accumulated Major Budget Deficits minus Legislated Tax Increases adjusted for the rate of inflation which is artificially suppressed while billions of dollars are printed each day to provide liquidity to banks who hoard the money and screw over the population by charging excess rates and fees while offering 0.25% interest on their savings account.

Depression

The perfect homonym to describe the state of mind of the citizens after the economic collapse that will occur when the government can no longer disguise the inflation rate and has to admit that it must repay the national debt at a far higher interest rate when it couldn’t even afford to do so at a rate of zero percent.