AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  David Schwinghammer, iCharles Keller, iT. Cline, iDebashish Haar, iD. Enise, iJay Dubya, iLloydene Hill, iEmily Karlewicz, iErin Kelly-Moen, iWilliam Cottringer, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Ed Matlack

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 6,048 Titles
· 45,923 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Bleached
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook

Stinky are my hands,
Got any suggestions?

Bleached…


 


Damn, I smell of bleach,


Washed the roof to clean the mold,


Should have let the stuff wait till it got cold,


Dead it would have been, no need for bleaching,


Now my hands I have to keep at arms reach…


 


Geez that stuff is powerful,


I used automotive hand cleaner & regular soap,


I don’t think it will ever come off, but I hope,


Now everything smells of bleach,


Should have gone to the beach…


 


Okay all you folks out there with home remedies,


Get them out and send them to me,


I will be most thankful for the help, I guarantee,


This smell is going to kill me; even Rufuz won’t come near,


You know you smell bad when even your dog does exhibit fear…


                © ed ~ 9/19/04 


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Bleached"
Reviewed by Rene Swing (Reader)
Reviewed on September 21, 2004
Smart Dog!....lol.

Reviewed by Lori Moore
Reviewed on September 19, 2004
poor Rufuz... lol. Creative write, Ed.

Reviewed by Bob Holt (Reader)
Reviewed on September 19, 2004
"My hands I have to keep at arm's reach." Great line. Rufuz will be back when he gets hungry.

Bob H

Reviewed by Daniel McTaggart
Reviewed on September 19, 2004
Did Tinka just tell you to pee on your hands?

Reviewed by Anna Marie Fritz (Reader)
Reviewed on September 19, 2004
Sue Barton has the answer, Ed...really.
When I use bleach, it fills my lungs, and that's
all I can smell for several days!
Breathe in all the fresh air you can, and breathe
out the bleach vapors...and...if that doesn't work...
rub Vicks in your nose. (My grandma's recipe).

Reviewed by J. Allen Wilson
Reviewed on September 19, 2004
Uhhh, I am not sure Ed, maybe you could hold a couple of Spanish Fairies in your hands for a couple of hours and see if that helps...make sure you get the ones with bull rings attached to their...ummgh. LOL...LOL

Allen

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on September 19, 2004
Go to the beach and sleep on it. Before you know it the sting and smell will be gone with the blood on our hands at war's end. I this lifetime, Man. Dare to make it happen and it will.

Reviewed by Susan Barton (Reader)
Reviewed on September 19, 2004
maybe the bleach is stuck in your nose :)

sueb

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on September 19, 2004
Lemon or parsley yip!!

If that does not help try Pee-tee-hee!!

I know Pee helps when you get burned to avoid blisters...no joke..it burns like hell but no blisters!!

:)Love Tinka

Reviewed on September 19, 2004
(((ed)))

ewwwwwwww...hate that! try lemon :) works for me

good write--LOL at the part about rufuz :)

(((HUGS))) and love, karla. :)

Reviewed by Dawn Richerson
Reviewed on September 19, 2004
i have this really strange thing - i actually love the smell of bleach. no remedies here.

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on September 19, 2004
Not sure. hmmmm maybe try scented oils?


New Poetry by Ed Matlack
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

52nd Book: Jay Dubya by Jay Dubya

Hawthorne: Hacked, Shakespeare: Sacked & Thurber: Thwacked is adult satire featuring adult language and content.  
Member BookAds

The Wholly Book of Genesis by Jay Dubya

The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.  
Member BookAds

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces by Jay Dubya

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces is adult literature that satirizes famous children's stories, fables and fairy tales. The work is Jay Dubya's twenty-first e-book available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook.  
Member BookAds