AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Riley Blake, iNeenah Davis-Wilson, iMORGAN ST. JAMES, iDeborah Frontiera, iKalikiano Kalei, iMargaret Mullings, iCharlene Proctor, iPatricia Sims, iEdie Batstone, iMartin Treon, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Ed Matlack

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 6,048 Titles
· 45,923 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Christmas Traffic
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook

Don't worry, be happy, christmas is almost over for this year...


Poem Artwork

Christmas Traffic…


 


It does go every which way,


Although that is not to say,


That anyone in particular does not know how to drive,


I keep my car between the lines, in that I do strive…


 


Shopping center parking lots are the worst,


That is where in the past I have a lot cursed,


Zigzagging through the pedestrians I have traversed,


Just aim your car and enter headfirst…


 


It is said that women are the absolutely lousiest,


But I do admit that men think they own the road,


They drive their big SUV’s, the kind that do “explode,”


They are big enough to be called a house or abode,


About drivers and driving this is not to be considered an ode…


 


So when you are out there fighting for a parking space,


Remember we are involved in the same race,


Don’t act like an ass and show your disgrace,


It is Christmas after all so that lousy attitude you must replace…


          © ed ~ 12/21/04


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Christmas Traffic"
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on December 21, 2004
That has to be an East Coast parking lot - we are much more civilized here in the Midwest. And now I know why Cherie thinks you stole Santa's sleigh, too! Thought you might have a go at flying over that mess, didn't you?!

Reviewed by Nordette Adams
Reviewed on December 21, 2004
LOL, and Joisey's the woise.
Thanks for helping me chuckle this year, Ed.
Happy Holidays.

Reviewed on December 21, 2004
glad i don't drive....LOL traffic is horrendous at the holidays; people are so nutty! no wonder everyone's so stressed....

cute write, ed, and be careful, ya hear??

merry christmas and happy new year to you!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your texas friend, karen lynn. :(

Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
Reviewed on December 21, 2004
Not only that but wait until you get inside the mall with all the carts if you survive that long. The above scene reminds me of when that hurricane that was not supposed to come through but did in Richmond. But is there a difference.

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on December 21, 2004
Oh I hate the trafic this time of year and Plettenberg Bay are not the biggest town but the most famous holiday resort on the east coast....just imagine if a town with space for 5000 all of a sudden get shared with 50,000...okay aybe les but it feels like it anyways!!

The tourist think the main street s a beachfront...and the men...does not keep their eyes on the road but on all the bikini's that's 5 sizes too small....Geeezzz!! Just imagine what will happen if I am in a crash with 8 drums filled with pigfood...and I had to give every bikini freak a juicy shower??? THEY WILL KILL ME AND MAKE ME FOOD TOO!!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Sue Hess
Reviewed on December 21, 2004
i let my sister drive and i swear for her...division of labor at it's best

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on December 21, 2004
Do what I do.........walk :-) It takes away all this stress and before you know it your actually enjoying yourself. Also give yourself the whole day for shopping, that way the line ups are not so bad. Just create a poem in your mind as your waiting for your turn :-)


New Poetry by Ed Matlack
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Love is a Pretty Girl with a Cape to Share Your Dreams With by Bob Boze

A humorous look at the world and life through my eyes. Follow the author and his wife, as they travel the world …. several times over. Laugh at their funny stories, self-inflicted crazy events, strange observations, wacky zoo facts and snippets  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV is adult literature featuring adult content and language that satirizes thirteen famous short fiction works.  
Member BookAds

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables & Fairy Farces, Part II by Jay Dubya

Farctured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces, Part II satirizes popular children's stories into adult-oriented renditions. FFFF &FF, Part II is also available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble e-book formats.  
Member BookAds