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Ed Matlack

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Hear ye, hear ye, a Royal Wedding has occurred
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
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Hear ye, hear ye, A Royal Wedding has occurred...


 


What he sees in her, I cannot fathom,


Is it the long tail or mane or teeth so large?


And while she may not be as big as a barge,


I bet all she has been with had to pay a big charge…


 


Will they have children, you don’t suppose,


Maybe the queen mum will therein oppose,


Will they look like him or come out with a whiney?


Born they will be with big teeth, & a nose like Seabiscuits,not to mention HIS ears,


Don’t forget the tail, the same dyed blond as their mum has, what a sin-ey…


 


I had to work, was the wedding quite nice?


Did they throw horses feed or stick to rice?


Hope she has had her distemper shots,


If not, on their wedding night,


The prince will have to tie her down with many knots…  


 


What else can be said for the poor man?


He must be blind in one eye and can’t see out the other,


You would think that at least he could smell her foul horse odor,


Better he should right now, before they get too attached,


For even the most ugly of the world can become matched,


So better he should right away, shoot her down dead with a muzzle loader…


 


        …Better off will he be, the rest of us can certainly see…


                © ed ~ 4/10/05


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 Reviews of "Hear ye, hear ye, a Royal Wedding has occurred"
Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot
Reviewed on April 20, 2005
Actually, I think the queen needs to be careful she dosent stand to close to the balcony!!
Walk about after the blessing, what exhibitionism, nothing like a head start aye.
As for the Garb she wore, was that a mock crown of thorns crossed with a halo??
Or maybe a csaers crown, either way it was revolting.
NOT IMPRESSED.
Watch out Queenie.
ANON

Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
Reviewed on April 12, 2005
Oh my Ed but you threw it to him did you not?

Reviewed by Michelle Mills
Reviewed on April 10, 2005
Oh hell, I about wet myself! And where did you get that picture????????? This is hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I agree with Tinka. They probably parked the porpoise for a moment or two with the help of Sir Viagra, and then played cribbage for the rest of the night. Ed, you are priceless. Roof to Rufuz! Michelle

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on April 10, 2005
What wedding night?

They had that 33 years agao...nothing new...just everything bloody old...even the sex!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Reginald Birch (Reader)
Reviewed on April 10, 2005

This commoner that dares to insult the future Queen, Off with head, did I hear the royalist cry, I say well done Ed.
Reg

Reviewed by Roger Ochs
Reviewed on April 10, 2005
Gentlemen, withhold your jeers
Ladies mop your salty tears
Charles has Camilla wed
And when they hie to the honeymoon bed
She'll grasp the lapper by his big ears.


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