AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Teresa Walker, iFrank Ryan, iFrank Whyte, iMargaret Mullings, iR.E.E.S Blogs Linda Smith, Publisher, iDavid Young, iTerry Vinson, iDavid Arthur Walters, iDonald Beaulieu, iJeff Mason, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Ed Matlack

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 6,048 Titles
· 45,923 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Zen & the Art of Parenting
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook

Whatever works...?


Poem Artwork

Zen & the Art of Parenting…

 

Remain calm,

When applying the balm,

To your aching feet,

After all day chasing them,

And you can’t even smack them on their seat…

 

Remain focused,

When to you they bring a horde of locusts,

Your garden in the path of said horde,

What the hell, while replanting your garden,

You won’t for sure get bored…

 

Remain centered,

When in the bathroom you entered,

Away they scream at you, mom I am too old for you to see,

Now that they are all of thirteen,

You must now knock when going in their rooms,

Got to let them be themselves,

Just hope that smell is not from pot, fumes…

 

Remain happy,

They have taken their drugs,

Now they are quite calm and don’t mind hugs,

Even a bath is allowed,

Since they can barely stand up from sitting on the rugs,

As well you can finally wash off all those little bugs…

            © ed ~ 6/10/05
 
 


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Zen & the Art of Parenting"
Reviewed by SHERRY HEIM
Reviewed on June 10, 2005
Parenting today is certainly a whole lot different from the way I was raised. I wonder how the next generation will raise their kids?
Take care,
Sherry

Reviewed by Alexandre Arnau
Reviewed on June 10, 2005
uh oh, i smell diapers in your future...nothing works like a firm tone and a firmer hand across the ass.

Reviewed by Sue Hess
Reviewed on June 10, 2005
i was a hyperactive child before ritalin became the answer, my mother taught me to embroider to help me focus my attention on something and it served me well in the sixties, when i designed embroidered jackets for entertainers...i've always been grateful for her patience

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on June 10, 2005
The message in the photo speaks loudly to me........I have been around children that are hyper active........parenting is not easy but ritalin is not the answer. Interesting thoughts throughout the write. Enjoyed the humor you expressed......that is the true key to being a parent.

Reviewed on June 10, 2005
you wouldn't like louisiana's sandusky's place...kids all OVER the where! LOL but SERIOUSLY, ed, i agree totally! very well done!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :)

Reviewed by Veronica Hosking
Reviewed on June 10, 2005
Speaking of "And you can’t even smack them on their seat" did you hear about the town that made spanking illegal?

Reviewed by Dale Clark
Reviewed on June 10, 2005
lol Yeah the art of parenting could use
a little zen. ;)

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on June 10, 2005
Funny one Ed!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by William Bonilla
Reviewed on June 10, 2005
Is that a storke I see flying near you house?
As for the little people
you must let them grow and watch them go
leaving you with an empty nest.
and a prayer in your mind

William .....Peace Brother

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on June 10, 2005
Are you planning to become a parent soon?!!

Reviewed on June 10, 2005
The first part of the poem was funny, but the last part looks at a more serious topic. Good work Ed!

Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)

Reviewed by Sandra Mushi
Reviewed on June 10, 2005
Lololololol! Ed, you are a total looney! Haaa haaa haaaa! Great one!

God bless,

Sandie.

Reviewed on June 10, 2005
This was so funny Ed, just loved it,

Reindeer

Reviewed by Steve Patterson
Reviewed on June 10, 2005
i smile. good job
tx


New Poetry by Ed Matlack
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Homer's Ill Iliad and Odd Sea Odyssey by Jay Dubya

Homer's Ill Iliad & Odd Sea Odyssey (420 pages) is an adult satire/parody rewrite of the classic stories of the 10 year Trojan War and of the 10 year adventure of Odysseus trying to return home to his native Ithaca.  
Member BookAds

The Wholly Book of Genesis by Jay Dubya

The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.  
Member BookAds

Jay Dubya's 53rd Book: PLOTS by Jay Dubya

PLOTS is Jay Dubya's 53rd book that satirizes in adult form major works of Poe, London, O. Henry. Twain and Shakespeare.  
Member BookAds