AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  FERIAL Haque, iLisa Loucks Christenson, iSergio Serrano, Ph.D., iTrennis Killian, iGlenda Bixler, iMyra Darwish, iJeff Ovall, iWilliam Martell, iCharlene Proctor, iKalikiano Kalei, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Ed Matlack

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 6,048 Titles
· 45,923 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Someone stole my lawn ornament already...
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook


Poem Artwork


 


No longer is it out there,


To hide it, too big it is, where,


They even took my pink flamingos, ain’t fair,


Leaving me with brown dirt all around out there…


 


Won’t long be dirt,


First rain will be mud,


Better I guess than a sewer flood,


Maybe now I can at least grow a spud…


 


Hell living in NJ, where if its not nailed down,


It will be taken and sold somewhere downtown,


Mighty big theft this one, rolled out on tires so round,


They could at least bring back one of my flamingo’s,


Left me with dirt, in a color of oh so brown…J


© ed J 12/26/06


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Someone stole my lawn ornament already..."
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on December 27, 2006
I think they thought it was you...smelled something bad...and hi_jacked you instead...I am sure...you told us you did not shower for DAYS...and smelled a little BAD.

Hahahahah...could not resist ..forgive me okay!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by J.L. Day
Reviewed on December 27, 2006
Drat! And it was providing such a colorful topic for waxing poetic musings!

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on December 27, 2006
You can live without that truck, but those pink flamingo heirlooms are priceless. As the family attorney, I've contacted the state police on your behalf, and they've issued an APB. And if you get a ransom note, brother, for God's sake - pay it - no questions asked.

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on December 26, 2006
maybe Rufuz didn't approve ... it was giving him nightmares ...

Reviewed by Sandi Schraut
Reviewed on December 26, 2006
Now who would take such a high class lawn thingy? Shoot, what is the world coming too anyway? LOLOLOL Sandi

Reviewed by Joyce Bowling
Reviewed on December 26, 2006
Ah man...now the trend of the large yard ornamant will never take off! Bummer...just when I thought about buying one...oh well, I guess I'll just have to stick with the bird bath and the gazing ball...loved the write my friend.
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling

Reviewed by Kimmy Van Kooten
Reviewed on December 26, 2006
OH NO!! Not the Pink flamingos!
Ed~ we need to send a possy out! They need your love and affection! So glad I left Jersey!
I'm sorry this happened and if I catch the little, you know whats, I'm gonna paint them pink and make them eat crow!
Love and Peace~
Kimmy~

Reviewed by SHERRY HEIM
Reviewed on December 26, 2006
Kids these days will steal anything, even a truckload of tur**!! Funny poem!
Take care,
Sherry


New Poetry by Ed Matlack
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Homer's Ill Iliad and Odd Sea Odyssey by Jay Dubya

Homer's Ill Iliad & Odd Sea Odyssey (420 pages) is an adult satire/parody rewrite of the classic stories of the 10 year Trojan War and of the 10 year adventure of Odysseus trying to return home to his native Ithaca.  
Member BookAds

A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon and Other Ravings from the Blogosp by Edward Patterson

A Collection of Daily Quotes, a glossary of author terms, a Drag Queens Advice Column and other tidbits, all wrapped up in one enjoyable volume  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part III by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part III is adult satirical literature that parodies thirteen famous short stories.  
Member BookAds