Only meant therein for fun,
I never carry it out in the sun,
Burned it will get or cement burn if I run,
Damn thing definitely, you can tell, weighs a ton…J
Love do I to play the fool,
Better than Mr. Ed, he plays the ghoul,
I endeavor to take good care of my big tool,
Most have told me I am definitely Mr. Kool…J
Sorry no measurements can I out give,
But trust me it is the reason I do live,
As well my love she does always me forgive,
You can well understand why, with my big gun,
She does not want to me outlive…J
© ed J 4/7/07
thanks
dan
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...' Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.
But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my goodness!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid, so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted.
Love Tinka
Then where do you carry it? Under the Jeep seat? And where did you get it? At a truck stop? You never had a 'Big Gun' when we were kids.
Curious Minds Want to Know.
Sincerely,
The Ghoul
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Happy Easter to you and yours! :)
Don't buy life insurance you ain't gonna collect.
Bang!!!
Be safe,
Karen
Ed, my man, you are a hoot. Thanks for the laughs this evening: needed 'em.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.