AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Raven West, iWilliam Martell, iOdin odin@aflx.com, iSergio Serrano, Ph.D., iFrank Whyte, iJ. Allen Wilson, iMr. Ed, iJennifer Miller, iTom Kitt, iJames Harvey, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Ed Matlack

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 6,048 Titles
· 45,923 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



How does one exhale...
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook


Poem Artwork


I took in a normal breath,


And found I could not exhale,


With each breath I took,


Staying inside my breath would, without fail…


 


I look like a perverted burnt Pillsbury dough boy,


I am trying not to be with anyone of you coy,


I just wanted to let you know & not of you annoy…


 


How big can I grow,


Before I eventually do blow,


In your face with burnt dough,


This today was my tale of woe…J


© ed J 11/15/07


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "How does one exhale..."
Reviewed on November 16, 2007
Well Ed, at least you didn't lie and say you never inhaled!!!

Reviewed by Georg Mateos
Reviewed on November 16, 2007
If you want to lear how to exhale...as our ex-White Teepee Willie how not to inhale...
Georg

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on November 15, 2007
ho ho ho or uh oh! Wonder which it was dough boy who isn't coy!;-) Please Rufuz tell em!

Love ET

Reviewed by Walt Hardester
Reviewed on November 15, 2007
Now Ed, you know darn well that you hold it until the doob comes around again.

Walt

Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson (Reader)
Reviewed on November 15, 2007
Someonme sent me this picture the other day
Naver fart in a wet suit.
L0L

Reviewed on November 15, 2007
Laffin' too hard to review

Reviewed on November 15, 2007
LOLOLOLOL This is too funny. Lift up the ole butt cheek and purr some of that out 'fore you blow UP! LOL

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

Reviewed by Charlie
Reviewed on November 15, 2007
I am having me quite a chuckle --Charlie

Reviewed by m j hollingshead
Reviewed on November 15, 2007
stars!!

Reviewed by D Johnson
Reviewed on November 15, 2007
flatulation might help........

good luck,
dan

Reviewed on November 15, 2007
you poor sod, how thick is that skin, can you stick a needle in? You're not working for the government are you/ thei're sort of bloated too, I get if now, the coin just fell, Inhaling all that pot, you've gone to hell! Ed, look at the positive side of it, if you get round enaugh, Michelin could use you, a but then you need a ventil, have you checked the rear there is usually an opening, oops,
You found it, well done, much laughter here Jasmin Horst
P.S. George had an Idea, about your gnomes, just in case it closes up again, Ha!

Reviewed by Kathy Armijo
Reviewed on November 15, 2007
Woah! Be careful of kids with sharp sticks. You could end up miles from home with a flat and no way to fix it. That would truly be woefull. Is your real name Bill Clinton? Nah, I guess not, he didn't INHALE!

God bless you. Kathy

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on November 15, 2007
I look like a perverted burnt Pillsbury dough boy

You've always been perverted, but a burnt Pillsbury Dough Boy??!!

Wow! I'm sendin Mom this picture!!!

PS I hope Rufuz doesn't like burnt cookies!!


New Poetry by Ed Matlack
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon and Other Ravings from the Blogosp by Edward Patterson

A Collection of Daily Quotes, a glossary of author terms, a Drag Queens Advice Column and other tidbits, all wrapped up in one enjoyable volume  
Member BookAds

A Relief of Doodie: Shtty Stories to Read on the Pot by Jay Horne

Stories Worth Wiping Your A** With Whether you're making a deposit at the stank bank, dropping a return at the squat shop, or conducting a brown business meeting, these perfectly timed tales provide the literary fragrance your privacy deserves. F  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V is humorous adult literature featuring adult content and language. The work satirizes and spoofs thirteen classic tales from U.S. and British literature, a  
Member BookAds