AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Judith Bailey, iBetty Jo Tucker, iJoy Pedersen, iKarin Adams, iMyra Darwish, iJohn Henning, iDavid Arthur Walters, iTichaona Chinyelu, iLisa DAnnolfo Levey, iChristine Boyce, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Ed Matlack

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 6,048 Titles
· 45,923 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



I talk to my appliances...
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook


Poem Artwork

When the toaster doesn’t toast,

I yell at it and tell it to work,

When the CD player skips,

I yell some more calling it a jerk,

I scream at the broiler when it won’t roast,

And you all well know what I scream at the most

Yeah, the computer, as I sometimes tell it,

I am going to throw it in the ocean at the nearby coast…

 

Not one has of yet talked back,

So of my sanity so far I do not lack,

Once one does talk back, I will then of myself commit,

But only after having a full mental breakdown fit…

 

I don’t however get mad at anything dangerous,

As I don’t berate or scream at a gun,

For if it were to turn my anger back against me,

I probably wouldn’t find that to be much fun,

So when you do talk to inanimate objects,

Know you are certainly NOT the only one…

 

 

© ed ~ 7/24/10


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "I talk to my appliances..."
Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on July 25, 2010
I always appreciate your humor, Ed. Thank you for the smiles. Love and peace,

Regis

Reviewed on July 24, 2010
JOISEY ...

PEEWEE ED - 'TALKS TO THE ANIMALS' ...

GEORGIE PORGIE PUMKIN EATER ED - TALKS TO 'THE WALLS' ...

JOISEY MEPHISTOPHELES ED - 'TALKS TO APPLIANCES' ...

THREE ED'S ... WHICH IS THE SMARTEST?

I'LL GO WITH PEEWEE !!! CUZ TK.

Reviewed by John Bidwell
Reviewed on July 24, 2010
I've been thanking my air conditioner all day.
Nice job here.

John

Reviewed by Lori Moore
Reviewed on July 24, 2010
Sometimes inanimate objects provide the best conversation a person can get.

Reviewed by Christine Tsen
Reviewed on July 24, 2010
Very skillful and humorous ~

I talk to the plants, the dog,and each of the animals I encounter as I'm hiking, but Ed, I have not yet spoken to an appliance.
Namaste,
Christine

Reviewed by Linda Hill
Reviewed on July 24, 2010
Ed,
I talk to my dog...so far he hasn't talked back. ")

Blessings+
~Linda

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Reviewed on July 24, 2010
Someone once said a poor craftsman blames his tools. Who ever said that should yell at his rifle. Patrick

Reviewed on July 24, 2010
You are doing a good job entertaining them, it's not their fault they don't dance, your cd player is on the fritz ha
Bless ya Jersey! Jasmin Horst

Reviewed on July 24, 2010
I talk to the trees, but they don't listen to me... =)

In Spirit,
Bear


New Poetry by Ed Matlack
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II is adult literature featuring adult language and situations that satirizes thirteen famous novellas and short stories. It is Jay Dubya's sixteenth ebook.  
Member BookAds

Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered, Part II by Jay Dubya

Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered, Part II is adult literature that satirizes ten famous William Shakespeare plays.  
Member BookAds

The Demon of the Shadows by Ronald Scala

A historical horror tale of demonic possession and heroic courage  
Member BookAds