“BIDET”

Here I sit taking a crap,

In my favorite spot to think,

Nothing to do but look out the window at the next-door sap,

Waiting for the plop-plop of the poop,

Oh, damn, what a stupe,

I’ve no toilet paper in the hoop, to scoop.

Wish I had a bidet,

That would be the way,

But with my luck, the water pressure would be on high,

Which would most likely make me fly,

Through the roof, I would go,

And land, hell only knows, on my head, why?

With my naked, but mostly clean, butt sticking up in the air,

Like a style that kids would like for their hair.

(ed)