Forget Toilet Paper…

No more feel the anxiety of sitting down,

And finding no more toilet paper,

Always seem to see the lack of,

Just as you find you are now bound,

To pinch that loaf, or make a big plopping sound.

Damn, what the hell do I do now?

Lets’ see, do I have a hanky, oh yes with little cows,

Oh I can’t do it to the cows; fortunately they are brown too,

I got no choice; I got to drown the cows in my poop,

Can always just throw it away,

 Or flush it after scooping with it.

My main point here is forget about toilet paper,

Carry old sections of towels, or at least several sheets of Bounty towels,

Every time you go out anywhere, just don’t allow them to taper,

Out of your back pocket or you will be up that proverbial creek,

Without a towlette or you can just allow yourself to REEK!

                             PHEW!                                       (ed)

(I have no idea where this came from, bear/bare with me, please)