I have no f***ing idea as to a name..

Wearing my coat in the house to keep warm,

That may have brought forth more harm,

I am so hot now that my smoke alarm,

Has started to sing its petulant tune,

Gotta disconnect that battery,

       Before I swoon.

Wish there was a way to tell,

Just how warm I actually was, oh hell,

Several hours ago I bitched and moaned,

That my teeth chattered from the cold, I groaned,

Now I am bitching about being too warm,

What the hell am I going through?

            Menopause?

Or do I simply have the flu,

I sure as hell hope I do,

As the change of life is not something,

That sounds like fun to go through.

Hot, cold, hot, cold, when will it end?

My thermometer says my temp is around ninety-seven,

Isn’t that kind of low?

And my blood pressure is also in that area,

As is my pulse, also, kind of slow,

Maybe I am dieing, but aren’t we all,

Slow torture being warm then cool, oh what a ball.

Who out there can tell me?

What the hell all this is?

Do I need to go to a doctor or just take a pill?

Should I feed the warmth and starve the cold?

Or is it the other way around?

So many questions, so few answers,

Where the hell am I bound?

With this unusual little ditty,

I am just, so far raving,

So much so that I hope I am saving,

Myself from further symptoms,

Of this menopausal ranting…

Maybe its just time to get high,

And forget from whence I came…           (ed)