Have you ever posted profound?
Does your midnight rain cry softly
as the pillow wetness so cold
ceases to dry?
Ferreting out fear too active
for sadness long engaged,
a past unwanted
as you drown
into the nothingness of sleep,
a drifter beyond the bay,
where cockleshells won’t go.
Where has it all gone?
That hope you once knew?
Do the friends of your mind
give you useless platitude advice?
Is the key to let time heal?
Or to remember what it was once like
and know you will return to it?
No.
Shadows pour.
You slide off the shelf unconscious.
Though you smell him,
he lies just beyond
where you cannot swim.
Your poem rings a sad bell. It’s one of the hardest moment in a human’s life. I lost my mum at quite young age when I needed her the most and even though time has healed that wound, I do miss her a lot sometimes. But then I look into the positive picture and cherish all the lovely moments we spent together and it brings a smile into my face. Lots of hugs Danae🤗.
You are expressing very personal experience in your poem and relating it to the depths of the sea. There is a sadness that comes from losing one so close that has a hard time going away.
I haven't experienced that yet, and hope that I never do. But my old friends and classmates are dying off and will if I live a very long time, leaving me alone to contemplate what I've lost.
There is both the sense of hope and despair in this eloquent exploration into the aloneness everyone feels one way or another. I particularly cared for your last stanza:
No.
Shadows pour.
You slide off the shelf unconscious.
Though you smell him,
he lies just beyond
where you cannot swim.
Where you cannot sink.
Alone
Here you've brought the contrasts of your thinking into an enigmatic visual that, as I said above, conveys both the hope and despair that is part of the risk of being alone. Excellent phrasing and use of vocabulary.
There are certain places where each of us must
"go it alone," where even our friends and lovers
cannot gain entrance. You have told us about one
as only the mind of Danae can describe these treacherous
waters. Superbly.
The Commander and the Chief take on the rogue Deep State: the Gunfight at the UK Corral, missing Redcoats in the Nevada Triangle, and nuclear blackmail!
A touching, loving and spirtual insight of the dying process, filled with peace, smiles and starting on their journey, taking me with them as far as I could go, returning back with something I didn't have before. Will be out early in 2010..on Kindle
The Psychic Dimension, Part II (558 pages) is a collection of 36 sci-fi/paranormal stories and the new work is the companion book to Jay Dubya's The Psychic Dimension.
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Does your midnight rain cry softly
as the pillow wetness so cold
Ceases to dry?
he lies just beyond
where you cannot swim
Wonderfully written Danae....
Diana...
I haven't experienced that yet, and hope that I never do. But my old friends and classmates are dying off and will if I live a very long time, leaving me alone to contemplate what I've lost.
Ron
No.
Shadows pour.
You slide off the shelf unconscious.
Though you smell him,
he lies just beyond
where you cannot swim.
Where you cannot sink.
Alone
Here you've brought the contrasts of your thinking into an enigmatic visual that, as I said above, conveys both the hope and despair that is part of the risk of being alone. Excellent phrasing and use of vocabulary.
That hope you once knew?"
Oh my, I have long since used up all my hope, Danae, these days I am just hopeless. I enjoyed this poem, it was deep and worthy7. Excellent write!
"go it alone," where even our friends and lovers
cannot gain entrance. You have told us about one
as only the mind of Danae can describe these treacherous
waters. Superbly.