Little Miss Shirley Stinks (poem) by Michael D. Schafer on AuthorsDen

Little Miss Shirley Stinks
by Michael D. Schafer → (All Poetry by Michael D. Schafer)
Wednesday, April 19, 2017 Rated "G" by the Author.

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A malodorous tale.
LITTLE MISS SHIRLEY STINKS A Malodorous Tale Little Miss Shirley Stinks, Wears way too much cologne. She takes a bath in perfume. She’s a walking danger zone. She doesn’t need to be seen, You’ll know she’s there. You can tell by the fumes, Rolling through the air. When she leaves a room, Her perfume lingers for awhile Hanging heavy in the air, It’s noxious and vile. Your breathing becomes constricted. Your sinuses start to corrode. You live in constant fear, Of an olfactory overload. Perfume can be enticing, And alluring as well. But little Miss Shirley Stinks, Assaults your sense of smell. We wish she’d go light on the scents, And not be so pronounced. Perfume's meant to be discovered, Not overwhelmingly announced. Michael D. Schafer © August 9, 2013

Reviewed by kj Force

Reviewed on April 22, 2017

Kinda brings back " Evening in Paris 1942 memory "....that and cigarettes smell makes me retch......

Reviewed by Darkest Angel

Reviewed on April 20, 2017

Oh, this one is well focused and obviously funny GEEZ ... what do you want me to say?! I have a cousin who is sensitive to perfumes and colognes, so when she comes home from working in an office of people who break the "no fragrances allowed" rule this poem would be very close to what she would be saying; although, not so eloquently.

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

It's a good thing she wasn't slimy or slinky as well as stinky. Come to think of it, I think I've encountered her a few times. Good one that we've all experienced, although those experienced with French whorehouses are more familiar. ;-)

Ron

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

Reviewed on April 19, 2017

Don't light your joint near her...-e-

Reviewed by Susanne Leist

I feel your olfactory pain. An elevator would become deadly with Miss Shirley Stinks inside.

Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci

I have pulse points to adorn my oils upon. Lovely!

Love ya!

Jane

Reviewed by Mystic Rose

I agree with you, my sister when someone wears too much she always says, "I ought to go up to that one and tell her she is assaulting my space" lol, I wouldn't go that far but I too don't like to smell too much perfume, I only wear peppermint oil or lavender oil diluted with lotion, a lot more discrete. I used to be a cosmetician for Shoppers many years ago, I developed throat problems because of all the sprays, here in Canada it is illegal to wear it in offices or spas, it ought to be outlawed everywhere, at times. Especially when confined to small areas.

Reviewed by David Thompson

How true, how true. You hit the nail on the head. There is an elderly lady I know. She dresses to the nines...always. However, she bathes in cheap smelling, loud perfume. She likes to hug everyone, and when she does, you walk away from her with the smell of her perfume on your clothing for the remainder of what length of time you are wearing them.

David

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton

Been there. Smelled that.

Reviewed by John Herlihy

Very clever and very true. How often have I walked in the wake of someone who has overscented themselves, especially in this part of the world. Truly disgusting, especially if the perfume is cheap. John