Twas The Week After Christmas

‘Twas the week after Christmas oh what a surprise

Old Santa’s was feeling frisky I’m telling no lies

I had visited each house in the middle of the night

Heard too many bedposts jingle and too many heavy sighs

I saw Mom’s frolicking without their kerchiefs

 this year I saw the Dads hang it all out

Oh good gracious, had to stop Dancer and Donner

At them I had to let out a huge shout

Saw half naked teens making out in doorways

Beneath green mistletoe and everywhere in between

And I'll tell you a secret...those batteries Aunt Flo ordered

Were for the biggest vibrator I'd ever seen

Saw a hoe, a hoe and a hoe downtown on the prowl

Dressed in red silk and fur slit up to their crack

Poor old Santa almost ran into a lamp post

When he chanced once more to look back

Now Santa’s sent his red suit out to the cleaners

Sent his warm thermal underwear there too

So Santa’s waiting patiently for his elf

By the gray of my whiskers you know what to do

To the top of my penis oh elf make my Christmas wish come true

Old Santa is waiting patiently for you in his bed

Little elf this year you know you are just the right height

To give old Santa great head….ho ho ho